Adoption

I watched 20/20 Friday night. The episode was entitled, Sins of the Father, and explored the Joshua Powell tragedy. I wanted to understand how this could have happened - two little boys murdered, house burned down, social worker locked outside - helpless. I still don't understand, but I do have a few opinions on the case. Take a moment and share your concerns and opinions.

Suggested Reading:
Things We Can Learn from the Joshua Powell Tragedy
The Susan Cox Powell Case
What Are the Steps to Family Reunification within the Foster Care System?
Building an Effective Partnership Between a Case Worker and a Foster Parent
Understanding Each Role within a Foster Care Agency
Understanding Each Role within the Court System

One of the hardest aspects of being a foster parent is being part of a team of professionals that perhaps doesn't consider us, as foster parents, real members of a professional team. Because of this how often do we get a chance to share our true feelings with the team and actually feel heard?

While we want to be honest and respectful in how we speak to our foster care social workers, sometimes we may feel that it is best to just keep quiet. Maybe we stay quiet because we're afraid that we won't be understood, or that we can't say what we want to say without emotion. It is important to build an effective partnership with your foster care social worker, even when you don't always feel heard. Take this opportunity to tell social workers what you want them to know about foster parenting.  This is just an opportunity to send a mass message to any and all social workers so that they may get a clearer picture of how foster parents really feel.

Whether you are a foster parent, a foster child, a birth parent, or perhaps even another worker - what do you wish you could tell a foster care social worker? How would you finish this sentence, "I Wish My Foster Care Social Worker Knew..."

I was thinking maybe foster care social workers feel the same way, so for the social workers, foster children, and birth family out there, how would you finish this sentence, "I Wish Foster Parents Knew..."

Take this opportunity to open up lines of communication and get an idea of how the 'other side' of foster care really thinks and feels.

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Suggested Reading:

• Building an Effective Partnership Between a Case Worker and a Foster Parent
• Finish this Sentence - "I Wish My Foster Care Social Worker Knew..."
• Be Prepared to Participate and Work with a Foster Care Social Worker
• Finish the Sentence - "I Wish Foster Parents Knew..."

I'm a child of the 80's so I totally remember the old lady asking, "Where's the beef?" (I loved those commercials.) Now we can capture a bit of the past by purchasing a vintage-style "Where's the Beef?" T-shirt at http://www.wendys.com/shirt/ for $20, with a portion of the proceeds going to Wendy's Wonderful Kids (WWK). T-shirts available through March 31.

If that's not enough, another fun way to support children in foster care is to create your own T-shirt design. WendyThreads Design Studio, a new Facebook app where you can create a unique tee. You have until February 29th to create your look. The designs will be put to the vote and then the top 10 styles will be reviewed by celebrity judges Trey Songz, Erin Andrews and Whitney Port. The top three will receive $5,000 and have his or her T-shirts produced and sold by Homage LLC. Wendy's will donate $4.25 from each shirt sold to benefit children in foster care. The winning T-shirts from the Facebook contest and the retro, "Where's the Beef?" tees will be available for purchase until March 31.

Wendy's Wonderful Kids is the signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and helps place foster children in adoptive homes. WWK has given more than $7 million in grants to adoption agencies and organizations, which has helped more than 2,200 foster children.

Are you going to buy or create a t-shirt? I think they'd make a fun gift!

Suggested Reading:

• Complete a Foster Care Adoption
• How to Better Understand the Profiles of Waiting Children
• 9 Ways to Help Children in Foster Care

Photo © Carrie Craft, licensed to About.com, Inc.

I enjoy training PS-MAPP a lot. It's always a neat experience watching a person's viewpoint grow and change as they learn more about the needs of foster children and their birth families.

Many people enjoy listening too and learning from experienced foster parents. This really helps with the decision making process. So, experienced foster parents - What Advice Would You Offer to Those Considering Foster Care? If you have parented a child or children in your home through foster care, share any and all advice you may have for those considering becoming foster parents.

Some questions to get you thinking:

• How did you make the decision to become a foster parent?
• If you knew then, what you know now or what you'd do differently.
• How did you handle telling your family about your desire to foster children in need?
• How did you prepare your children? Were they happy or upset with the decision?

I've really enjoyed reading how you'd change the foster care system, now it's your turn to share a bit with those considering working within the foster care system as foster parents. Please, use this form to share your foster parenting wisdom.

Suggested Reading: Want to be the kind of foster parents that can help a child move on from a life of abuse and neglect? Sign up for a free e-course today, Learn How to Be a Great Foster Parent in 5 Weeks.

I've been finding the presidential race interesting, and as always there is drama. Of course, each of the Republican candidates have a different stance on gay adoption, abortion, and other adoption issues.

Tax season is coming up and there was a lot to update, including listing the changes in the adoption tax credit for 2011.

I also updated some international adoption statistics as well as a new article explaining Form I-604, utilized in non-Hague convention adoptions.

Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features:

• Jon Huntsman Is an Adoptive Parent
• 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates and Adoption Issues
• How Has the Adoption Tax Credit Changed for 2011?
• Defining Special Needs and Eligibility for the Adoption Tax Credit
• Claiming the 2011 Adoption Tax Credit
• What Are Considered Qualified Adoption Expenses?
• What Were the Top 20 Countries Being Adopted from in 2011?
• Form I-604, Determination on Child for Adoption

Most of us love to talk about our children, but there seems to be something extra special about adoption stories. If you have added a child or children to your home through adoption, and created your own forever family, we'd love to read your adoption story.   Asking readers to share their adoption stories has become our January tradition over the past few years.

Here are some of our newest adoption stories:

• Waiting for a "Yes"
• Long Term Placement Turned into Forever Home
• Choosing Foster Care Adoption Over International
• Single Parent International Adoption Story
• Already My Child - Vietnam Adoption Story
• Have Faith and Wait for the Right Timing
• Special Needs Older Child from China Adoption


• Now it's your turn to submit your adoption story

Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley - Katherine Heigl and husband, Josh Kelley, have recently shared that they are ready to start the adoption process again. The couple adopted their daughter, Naleigh, about three years ago from Korea. Heigl has also shared that she struggled a bit bonding with their daughter, while her husband and Naleigh clicked right away. Through an interview with Scholastic Parent & Child magazine she acknowledged the importance of being prepared to parent an adopted child and how the process of forming attachments take time, building trust takes time. I'm so glad to hear a celebrity opening talk about the bonding process that goes along with adopting a child and that parenting a child that is not biologically your own is different. Relationships take time to build.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt -Adopting more children is still an open topic within the Jolie-Pitt home. In an interview with the The Hollywood Reporter, Pitt stated that they are open to more children, but nothing is in the works at this time as they currently have a balance within their home. He also stated that if they met someone who needed them and they felt that they could help, they would be open to adopting again. I like how the focus seems to be on the child and what Jolie and Pitt could do to offer help, rather than on their own wants and needs. That's the way it should be, in a perfect world.

SOURCES:
Katherine Heigl - Heigl Keen To Adopt Again After Understanding Special Bond
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Open To Adopting More Kids

Suggested Reading:

• 10 Five Minute Bonding Activities for Foster and Adopted Children
• Preparing to Parent the Adopted Child
• Internationally Adopted Children Sometimes Suffer Same Challenges as US Children
• Adoption Book Review: The Post-Adoption Blues

_{Cover art for Postcards From The Soul.
Copyright © 2011 Foster Care Alumni of America www.fostercarealumni.org}

The Foster Care Alumni of America's Community Art Project explores the culture of foster care through these very personal pieces of art. Who knew so much could be said on something the size of a postcard? I still remember when I first viewed these postcards. What a powerful impact they had on me and my viewpoint of not only the foster care system but the children and how they experience foster care.

So, take a moment and view the slide-show or buy the new book,  Postcards From The Soul, which gathers these powerful postcards into 138 beautiful pages.  I believe these images can help numerous members of the foster care community.

If you viewed the slide show - click "comments" below and share which postcard really stood out for you. I still think of the one featuring a young girl standing in what appears to be a battlefield and the card reads, "They said I had attachment disorder. Really I had a life disorder. I attached accordingly." Reminds me of several past foster kids, how about you?

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Suggested Reading:

• 6 Things to Know Before Choosing to Become a Foster Parent
• The Challenges of Foster Care
• Children and Family within the Foster Care System
• Understanding Each Role within a Foster Care Agency
• Understanding Grief and Loss in Children

The Foster Care Alumni of America is a national non-profit association founded and led by alumni of the foster care system. "Alumni" meaning those who have been in foster care during their youth or childhood. Their mission is to help transform the foster care system and help those in and out of foster care reconnect with their community in healthy ways.

Queen Latifah - The actress shared during an interview with Access Hollywood that she is interested in adopting a child. The forty-one year old said that she would raise her children with morals, values, and God. She also added that she would try to be more like her mom.

Jillian Michaels - Michaels started the adoption process back in 2010, to adopt from the Congo, but she has recently announced on Access Hollywood Live that she has been matched to a little girl - in Haiti! It seems that while the former Biggest Loser trainer was visiting an orphanage in Haiti she fell in love with a little girl. Through what she is calling "the grace of God," she has been matched with that child. Of course, the Haitian adoption process takes time and it could be up to another year before the child comes home. I bet Jillian Michaels is very excited to be one step closer to being a mom.

SOURCES:
Queen Latifah Talks Adoption
Jillian Michaels Adopting Haitian Child: I Fell 'In Love With This Little Girl'

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Suggested Reading:

• Adopting a Child from Haiti
• I-600A - Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition
• Definition of an Orphan

It seems that a group supporting Ron Paul's bid for the Republican Presidential Candidacy has used pictures of Jon Huntsman's adopted daughters as infants in a video ad with the spoken words, "American values. Or Chinese?".  Jon Huntsman and his wife have internationally adopted two children from China and India.  According to reports, Jon Huntsman called the ad "just stupid" and invited those against his candidacy to attack him, not his children.  Ron Paul denies having any knowledge of the ad.

This move reminds us of the 2000 race for the Republican nomination when John McCain was accused of fathering a child outside of marriage. Automated phone calls went out in South Carolina asking voters if they knew about Bridget McCain, suggesting that she was his illegitimate, African American child. Bridget McCain was actually adopted from Bangladesh in 1993.

Suggested Reading:

Jon Huntsman Is an Adoptive Parent

SOURCE:
Huntsman Outraged at Ad Targeting Adopted Daughters