Hollywood Adoption News
Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley - Heigl and Kelley have added a second baby girl to their family. Newborn, Adalaide Marie Hope joined the Kelley-Heigl family through domestic adoption and joins big sister, Naleigh, 3½, who was adopted from South Korea in 2009. Heigl has been open about the struggle she and Naleigh had with bonding. I wish the family luck as they work to form those attachments again with another child.
Jennifer Lopez - Last week I blogged that Jennifer Lopez was interested in adoption according to Access Hollywood, but Lopez clarified her statements regarding adoption recently on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She stated that she is misquoted often, and that she has no interest in pursuing adoption. She stated, "Through the character I came to understand how people do it, because before I never really thought about it."
SOURCES:
Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley Name Daughter Adalaide Marie Hope - People.com
Jennifer Lopez Clears Up Adoption, Postpartum Depression Rumors
Successful First Year for Foster Focus Magazine and Chris Chmielewski
Photo courtesy of Chris Chmielewski
A year ago we learned about the launch of a new magazine for foster parents and others who work within the foster care system. That magazine, Foster Focus, launched May 2, 2011, in honor of National Foster Care Awareness Month, and has had an awesome first year under the leadership of its owner and creator, Chris Chmielewski. Chris Chmielewski is a former foster kid who aged out of the system to become a success story. He is very passionate about the needs of foster children and the need to improve the foster care system that cares for children.
From Chris:
"Success for me has been measured in how seriously I have been taken by the hierarchy of the system. People really seem to enjoy the fact that the mag is run by a former foster kid, especially the CEO's. I think it makes them feel like they had a hand in the success story. Also getting to meet Jimmy Graham from the Saints is pretty cool too."
Photo courtesy of Chris Chmielewski
Learn more about Foster Focus magazine and Chris Chmielewski. Foster Focus is the first nationally distributed monthly magazine devoted to foster children.
Hero Movie Brings Out Bullies
When I became the Guide here on About Adoption and Foster Care, I came at the topic very one sided and with only one point of view - that of an adoptive parent. Thankfully that didn't last as I was schooled by members of the forum, where I quickly learned that the adoption community consisted of adoptees, birth parents, as well as the adoptive parents. They each had a story to tell, and each adoption story was different. I am very thankful for that education, because now I can more clearly see both sides of an adoption or foster care issue.
I learned the value of three simple words - walk, mile, shoes.
I learned that while I may not always agree with someone's point of view, I could still learn and grow from it. Their perspective was usually born out of heartache or an experience that is often very unique to members of the adoption community, a community that exists on a foundation of loss because all adoptions start with a loss.
I started the blog regarding The Avengers movie to hear the perspectives of members of the adoption community and was shocked at the ugliness of the comments. Fifty-two comments and fourteen were offended by the adoption comment in the movie and all fourteen were able to communicate their feelings without one ugly word. But there were thirty-eight readers who stated that they were not offended, and only seven of those thirty-eight were able to communicate their view point in a healthy manner.
I have to admit, if I watched the movie, I probably would have laughed at the comment, but would have also wondered how it would impact those who may have been distanced from family with such a comment, because it made someone else more comfortable to only claim them if it was known that they were NOT blood related. Yes, I understand the point of the comment, as I'm sure others who were hurt by it understood.
It's not a matter of adoptive parents not preparing children for the real world, or the lack of mental capacity, or the inability to take a joke, understand context, or even the need for therapy.
It's about the fact that some people in this world have been labeled based solely on their adoption status. If you are an adoptee and did not experience this hurt, I'm happy for you. I can tell you that there are many adoptees who do not feel the same way.
Should adoption be off limits to jokes? No. But I do believe that it should be okay for someone in the adoption community to explain their point of view without being verbally attacked and belittled. There is value in those three words - walk, mile, shoes.
Help Your Child Finish the School Year on a Strong Note
Photo © Carrie Craft, licensed to About.com, Inc.
As we're finishing up school here this week, and man did time fly, it's easy to want to just coast in to a summer of relaxation. But, while it may be the end of the school year, it's still important as a foster parent to help your foster child finish the year strong.
- Encourage your foster child to participate in fun end-of-the-year activities. Perhaps go as a volunteer.
- Attend book fairs and buy several books to encourage reading during the summer. Ask their teacher for recommendations or appropriate reading levels.
- Encourage your children to finish homework and get in any extra credit points, if possible.
- Collect last papers, pictures, and report cards for the social workers and birth mom and dad.
Is school almost out in your area? Are your kids excited for summer or going to miss friends. I have a mix here, one is excited, and the other is sad.
Happy Mother's Day
Getty Images / Mario Lalich
I have to agree with the popular saying, "Motherhood is not for wimps." I think it goes double for foster and adoptive mothers. It takes a special person to mother and nurture a child that is not your biological child.
Click "comments" below and share something special about your mom, whether she's your birth, adoptive, or foster mom. We would love to hear your comments.
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What Is an Adoptive Mother?
Adoption Stories - When We Became a Forever Family
You Know You're a Foster or Adoptive Mother When...
Adoption Poems for Adoptive Parents
Foster Care and Foster Care Adoption Poems
Today Is BirthMother's Day
It may not be well known to the rest of the world, but so some in the adoption community - today, the Saturday before Mother's Day, is Birthmother's Day. Here is a link to some poetry and other writings by birth or first mom's.
Most adoptions are a happy time for the adoptive family. Adoption is seemingly all about the adoptive parents and the child and what they have gained. Little thought is often given to the losses created by adoption.
By reading the words of these birth mothers I hope that we can begin to see and appreciate their feelings. Take some time this weekend to think about the women who have made us adoptive mothers mothers and what we or our children can do to honor and remember them.
Suggested Reading:
Foster Parent Appreciation Month
I just got the official invitation for our foster care agencies foster parent appreciation celebration. This year it is being held at the Tanganyika Wildlife Park. We get to tour the part, and then enjoy a late lunch and an appreciation ceremony. I have always wanted to visit this zoo, so I'm pretty excited!
In the past, foster care agencies have done a picnic as well as little gifts for their foster parents. One year at a picnic we received a nice mug filled with Hershey Kisses and a DVD about the foster care program, so that we could bring more families into foster care. What a nice surprise!
A note to foster care agencies and workers - there are things that foster parents need from you besides trips to the zoo and chocolate. Though, we do love both. Here are 11 ideas on how to maintain foster homes.
What has your agency done for you?
Suggested Reading:
Foster Family Gift Ideas
11 Ways a Foster Care Agency Can Maintain Foster Homes
Is it Time to Change Your Foster Care Agency or Adoption Agency?
Jennifer Lopez Open to Adoption Thanks to New Movie
According to an interview with Access Hollywood Jennifer Lopez recently shared that she is now interested in exploring adoption thanks to her role in the new movie, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Lopez plays a woman who is experiencing infertility issues, so she and her husband turn to adoption. The movie follows the couple on their adoption journey as they finally adopt from Ethiopia. Lopez was able to interact not only with the Ethiopian born twins playing the role of her son, but also with the adoptive parents. She admits that adoption is something she never considered before, but now can see how easy it is to love a child that is not biologically your own.
Lopez is already a mom to 4-year-old twins Max and Emme with ex-husband Marc Anthony.
What to Expect When You're Expecting is due out in theaters May 18.
Read the update on Jennifer Lopez's statements on adoption - seems she was misquoted.
SOURCES:
Jennifer Lopez: Filming 'What To Expect...' Opened Me Up To Adoption - Access Hollywood
Jennifer Lopez talks adoption
Mother's Day Is Coming!
Photo © Carrie Craft, licensed to About.com, Inc.
There are many people who don't understand what it means to parent another person's child. The comments that I receive run from, "you're such a saint" to "you're so crazy." I personally hate these types of comments. Most days I feel like I fall short of one of the above descriptors and fully live up to the other.
Those of us experienced with fostering know that reality lies somewhere in the middle. It takes a special person to be a foster or adoptive mother, but it also takes a bit of the crazies too. Moms in general are talented and deserve their special day, but there is something extra special in my opinion, about an adoptive or foster mom.
Click "comments" below and share something special about your mom, whether she's your birth, adoptive, or foster mom. We would love to hear your comments.
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Suggested Reading:
- What Is an Adoptive Mother
- 14 Ways for a Birth Mother or Birth Father to Honor & Remember a Placed Child
- Birthmother's Day Created Out of Love or Just More Adoption Propaganda?
- Birth Mother's Day or Mother's Day?
Quick, find a gift for mom:
The Avengers Movie Offends Some Adoptees
I have yet to see the new movie, The Avengers, which kicked off the 2012 summer movie season today, but a reader tipped me off to a comment that she found particularly offensive while reading a movie review in The Examiner
The Avengers is about demigod - Thor, (played by Chris Hemsworth), super soldier - Captain America, (played by Chris Evans), playboy billionaire - Iron Man, (played by Robert Downey Jr), a scientist - The Hulk, (played by Mark Ruffalo), and two super assassins - Black Widow (played by Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (played by Jeremy Renner) who team up to save the planet from Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston).
It seems that the character Thor explains his brother Loki's violent killing spree with the flip comment, "He's adopted." The reviewer, Kelly Jane Torrance, uses this in the review as an example of a "great line" that allows other characters than just Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man a "chance to shine."
What do you think? Is this a "great line" or is it offensive to adoptees?
My response to the majority of the responses can be found in a new blog post - Hero Movie Brings Out Bullies.
Other Movies That Have Caused Some Irritation
New Adoption Horror Movie Orphan Causing a Stir
Does the movie Juno do Adoption Justice?
Why Does Disney Keep Doing This?
Suggested Reading: