In the News: Too Fat to Adopt?
First, we had the new guidelines for China adoptions and now in Australia a couple is not being allowed to adopt due to the wife's obesity.
An Australian couple were recently informed that their adoption application was suspended until the wife could lose more weight. According to a recent article in news.com.au, the couple reported, "And one of the women said everything was looking good and we would be wonderful parents, but that my weight was holding me back from adopting."
OK, so let's get this straight, we've got "wonderful" potential parents here that according to the article, have completed and passed their background checks, physicals, as well as financial and home assessments, but because of a medial condition that causes her to gain weight, polycystic ovarian syndrome, they are not eligible to adopt. Does that make any sense to anyone here, if so please click "comments" and clue me in because I'm struggling with this one.
What are the reasons for keeping "fat" people from adopting? The only two arguments I've heard are: 1.) the parent's poor health could leave a child an orphan and 2.) the parent's poor role modeling could lead to the child becoming obese later in life. Let's look at these one at a time.....
1.)A tragic car accident could lead a child to becoming an orphan, so perhaps adoptive parents shouldn't drive either.
2.) Regarding fat parents being poor role models, a 1986, study published in The New England Journal of Medicine studied the connection between fat adoptive parents and adoptees. The study included 540 adult Danish adoptees who were selected from a population of 3580. It was discovered that the adoptees took after their birth parents and not the adoptive parents. Therefore, there were cases where skinny adoptive parents parented obese adoptees and vice a versa. So, it appears that when it comes to the size of a waist band, it seems to be nature and not nurture. Finally, something that is NOT my fault as an adoptive parent!
So, regardless of what the study shows, do you believe that weight should be a factor in adoption? Why do you think people getting so upset by it anyway? Click "comments" and share your thoughts.
SOURCES:
Woman 'too fat to adopt child' - news.com.au
An Adoption Study of Human Obesity - The New England Journal of Medicine
Comments
I have PCOS, Hypothroidism, and Syndrom X(Metabolic Syndrome). I lost 36 pounds with hard work. If your adoption matters to you- lose the weight. I did it and so can you. Parents health does matter in taking care of a child.
It is reasonably fair to mention the weight problem when it comes to adoption. It is honest to say that someone who is fat or overweight could lead to obsession about coping with food, about feeding the pain with food in order to feel release. It is honest to say that behavior is a factor of a low self-esteem, poor self-love, low self- acceptance. A vicious circle to the person who suffers. We need to detached ourselves and just see the truth. A fat person as described above need a deep understanding of he/herself,
and honesty and deep healing in order to be there for a child either adopted or not. So many dysfunctional couple, background, up bringing lead to a dysfunctional emotional child, subtle or deep. And it can be about alcohol, drug abuse, violence and also a person having a hell of a relationship with food. A child is like a sponge, anything that the child sees, smells, feels , says, thinks is absorbed deeply.
That is not fair. So no matter how good a person you are, home, job. just because your fat, that is so pathetic, and there are so many orphaned kids,
I see this as discrimination. There are many people in the world who are obese and who still manage to make good choices for their children. An obese parent can encourage and present healthy eating choices. An obesse parent can be an active parent and thus encourage their child’s activity. If the parents have passed the background check and physical there is no reason to hold back on an adoption. Is it better to leave these children in foster care or in orphanages rather than in the care of a loving family? Any adoptive parent or any birth parent can be struck with disease or an accident. We just don’t know and since we aren’t God we shouldn’t try to play him!
Talk about discrimination. Why is someone’s weight an issue with adoption. When you’re pregnant and overweight do they tell you you cannot have this child due to your weight? Do they take it away from you because you’re overweight? No. Weight should not be a factor if the person has passed the background check and the other legal hoops for adoption. I have PCOS and other health concerns and this makes me sick to think that if we had the money to adopt (which by the way is another roadblock for us as we do not have $20,000 for adoption) our weight would be put into consideration and probably not be given a child due to it. It is totally ridiculous!
I am a potential parent attempting to adopt older, special needs children. Thousands of these children grow up “in the system” because very few people are willing or able to adopt them. The children are not babies… they come with histories and they come with issues. But, they desperately need “forever families” who can give them love, a belonging… stability. In my county alone there are 1200 older special needs children waiting for adoption.
I am also considered obese and my weight has been an issue since we’ve attempted to adopt. They keep telling me that they don’t want one of us to die and only have one parent left… yet, by the way, they allow single parent adoptions. I, too, have PCOS.
What I find interesting is that my husband is also obese, has been struggling with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, and has a family history of heart disease. Yet, they have never been conserned about his health. He carries his weight well. I look fat and he looks like he has a beer belly. I have no medical problems other than the PCOS. I had to do several assessments with my doctor and show that I was losing weight (which, I had already been doing for 2 years). We still are not approved as adoptive parents after 10 months (most parents adopting older special needs children are approved in 2-3 months). They keep telling us that we would make wonderful parents for these children… but….
It may surprise you, as it surprised them…. that I eat healthier and take better care of myself than most people I know. I cook everything fresh… absolutely no prepared foods… low fat and low sodium. I do not waiver from this… ever… and have been doing this for 2 years now. Over the past 2 years I have been able to lose 57 pounds… but it comes off so slowly… and I still have quite a bit more left to lose. I exercise a minimum of 1 hour each day on a commercial eliptical machine I purchased at the beginning of last year. I also walk 2-6 miles every day. How many people do you know that are that dedicated to their health?
I see this as nothing more than discrimination. My doctor says, despite my weight, I am the picture of health… I have low cholesterol (105), low triglicerides, and my blood pressure is always normal. The adoption agency judged me from the day I walked in the door on the way I looked, not by anything that measures health.
Meanwhile…. the children wait in the system for their “forever families”….
http://www.mare.org/Photos/C04968.mov