How Should the Adoptive Family Feel After an Adoption Reunion?

It's tough, being the adoptive parents during an adoption reunion. We have learned this as our boys have sought more contact with their birth family. But then I stop and think, "Should this be tough for me? Do I have a right to feel everything that I am feeling?"

I've felt jealous, hurt, angry, irritated, worried, anxious, and more. Mostly because of the past my boys experienced in their birth homes before their foster care adoption by myself and my husband. However, I am sure that I'd feel a bit of the same during an adoption reunion if my boys were adopted as infants and never experienced abuse and neglect.

So. Do I have a right to feel these things? I've decided, yes. Because I'm human. Humans are flawed. I'm flawed. (Don't tell my husband, my kids, or my sisters. OK. Anyone. That I've admitted to the previous statement.)

So, where is our [adoptive parents] place in an adoption reunion? Should adoptive parents have any part in an adoption reunion?

Some say that the adoptive family’s expectations don't matter when it comes to birth parent reunions. I believe that it all rests on the adoptee and what he/she wishes to happen.
What do you think? Bring it to the forum for discussion. Or click "comments" below and share your thoughts on this blog.