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Whenever I begin a new class of people training to become foster parents, there are always a few couples or singles in the group interested in fostering to adopt. They usually have many questions and are filled with excitement about adding to their family. Foster to adopt is not a quick route, but it is probably the least expensive one. There is such a great need as there are thousands of kids in foster care in need of homes within the U.S.

One of the main focuses during National Adoption Month, which is November, is the adoption of children in foster care. That is how our three boys joined our family, through foster care adoption. November is coming quickly. Is 2008 the year you decide to add to your family through foster care? November 5th is the date we finalized our adoption. Huh. I just thought of that.

Comments
November 13, 2007 at 4:17 pm
(1) DivaJean says:

I have posted before- but my partner and I have fostered to adopt 3 kids (daughter 8 yrs old, son 5 yrs old, daughter 2 years old) and are fostering w/ plan to adopt a 5 month old boy.

We were told way back when we’d never see any babies. All our kids were direct from the hospital after birth.

We thought we wanted a boy first (my partner had some bad experience with the dynamic of oldest kid being a girl- the ANgelica/RugRats syndrome). God had other plans.

Our second- we thought we’d want another girl since we already had girl clothes. Surprise again. You can’t tell the fates what you want when you want it!

Our third- we didn’t send any vibes out to the universe– and got the call from our worker that a bio sister to our son had been born. We knew it was meant to be!

Our fourth- we struggled with the very idea that we only had room in our house for boy (2 bedrooms for kids- one already had 2 girls in it!). We began to hear rumors that our son’s and youngest daughter’s mom was again pregnant. We were fearful she would have a girl and we would have to say no to our case worker. Saying no to a child in need was to go against everything we believe as a family. Instead- we told the case worker not to call us if it was a girl. We didn’t hear anything for a long time- so we began to believe the baby was miscarried or a girl. Then surprise– our baby boy came to us!

You just never know.

November 15, 2007 at 8:55 am
(2) adoption says:

Thank you for sharing your foster to adopt story. I have always appreciated your comments!

All the Best to you and your family.

November 15, 2007 at 3:20 pm
(3) Kat says:

Hello! My husaband and I are a licensed foster/adopt home. We have 3 bio sons and adopted a sister & brother out of foster care last Dec. We met these two through Respite Care and just fell in love (also turned out they were 1st coosins twice removed!)Since they were already in a foster home we worked out visits with them and saw the kids alot. This home had another opportunity for a different placement and our intended two moved in with us at that time! They were in care for a year before moving into our home-after that(about 5 months) the adoption was finalized last Dec. Everything went fairly smooth and we are currently waiting for a baby to add to our family!

October 18, 2008 at 10:09 pm
(4) Rachel says:

My husband and I have toyed with the idea of foster to adoption but know that it is a huge commitment. How do you find out about the different children available? I see all of these websites with “waiting children” but is this really the way to find kids in need in our area?

October 23, 2008 at 6:10 pm
(5) Kristy says:

My partner and I recently became certified in foster classes (MAPP), and our home has been licensed as well. We are wanting to foster adopt up to three kids (siblings would be wonderful). It’s been several months, and we haven’t heard anything. I keep hearing how there are so many children waiting to be adopted…but yet we haven’t received any calls. I know that because of the ages we are wanting (newborn to 4), it might take a little longer. I just had no idea it would take this long. I read a comment about someone whose babies came straight from the hospital. How does that work? Does anybody have any suggestions or insight? We are just so excited and anxious to start our family.

October 28, 2008 at 4:26 pm
(6) adoption says:

There is a big need for foster care and foster care adoption! We waited a year for placement too – if I wasn’t working at a children’s home I would have thought – forget it – there is no need. But I saw the need daily, so we just waited.

Each area is different and the ages of kids that you are looking for will add to your wait time.

Be patient. :)

December 5, 2008 at 8:40 pm
(7) Reecie says:

It has been a year and 2 months for my husband and me; yet, we still do not have a child. We initially pursued a little girl from a different state, started the paperwork, meetings, and shared a short period of time, but later, she was pulled away up under our noses. Afterwards, we had some calls, but we were a hestitant because of our previous diappointment. The first night that our new assigned caseworker came into inspect our home, she wanted us to take a set of twins, but we wanted more information about the babies. Another time, they called with two boys, but one child was older than age we wanted, so we did not want to separate them. The third time, we got a call for a little girl, who was twelve months old, but we were out of the country on vacation. Now, I wonder have we been too picky? Will we hever get a call again? I feel a child and you have to be a near perfect fit. Each child is not meant for you and vice versa. You will definitely know because will make the connection. So, we are patiently waiting. Sometimes, we get discourage and want to give up, but I hear a voice telling us to hang in there. Children are a blessing. You do not have to be a bioligical parent to be a parent. We have open arms to give a child love. That is important.

February 8, 2009 at 7:14 am
(8) autumn says:

We have completed our classes and are working on the paperwork end. We told our caseworker we want children under 3 at this time. We are hoping to adopt 2 children as siblings for our adopted granddaughter. We to have been told that we wont see any babies because we live in a small county and there are many homes wanting to take babies.

June 20, 2009 at 1:51 pm
(9) Who's life is it? says:

2 years ago I joined an adoption group with the thought of adopting a little girl from Asia to add to our family of 2 kids by birth and 2 kids from my husband’s previous marriage. Well, long story short, Dec. 2008, we learned about 8 homeless children and took them all in and cared for them for 8 months on our own until child protection removed them from our care in an attempt to reunify the kids with birth mom. It was heart breaking. We then tried to fill the void by doing training in foster to adopt. There were three Asian siblings I wanted. In the process, we got news the 8 siblings were back in foster care. Confused on what to do we took a break from the adoption idea. Our established relationship with the kids allowed all parties to let us have the kids on the weekends as they went back and forth between birth mom and the system. In April, 6 of the 8 siblings came to live with us as foster kids. The 6 year old’s permanancy plan will go to court in the next few months. Who knows what God has planned for us. When I and the kids get frustrated, I remind us that God is managing this and it will be perfect, maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day, we’ll all look back and realize every slip every slop was perfectly placed for us to be who we are today.

September 28, 2009 at 8:57 am
(10) Tonya A. says:

I was approved to foster-adopt a African American child between 1 to 3 years old, and never received a call for a year. After requesting a new case worker, I made the big mistake of letting her convince me that we should raise the age to 7. I learned that there are not as many needy children in the foster care system as the media claims, and there’s a reason why many adults seek international adoption instead of foster adoption.

September 28, 2009 at 9:03 am
(11) adoption says:

Tonya,

There is that big of a need for adoption from the foster care system – it’s just that they are older children – not little ones. The little ones – like 0-3 are very often adopted by the foster parents who have been providing their care.

Why was raising the age a mistake? Did you adopt a child older than age 3?

October 27, 2009 at 10:56 am
(12) Brenda says:

It is totally possible to get a foster child at birth from the hospital and then eventually adopt them. But you have to remember that you are in the “foster/adopt” SYSTEM which means that you are their foster parent first and need to be able to support any reunification efforts with the birth parents. Several months (or even years) can pass with efforts toward reunification, when you do not know if this child will stay in your home or not. But if reunification efforts fail, you will be asked to move to the status of adoptive parent. However, you always risk that this child will be reunited and go home. I think sometimes that people forget that there are no guarantees in this crazy system, and sometimes you have to experience much heartache before have one that stays forever. Everyone’s story is different and you cannot compare yourselves to another family. Every journey is different. We’ve had 5 babies in 3 years (3 of them newborns from the hospital) and all have gone home. We recently adopted our 4 year old foster daughter, but she’s only been in our home for 8 months. However, we have 2 friends who have adopted the child that they picked up from the hospital at birth.

December 26, 2009 at 3:19 am
(13) parisbid says:

Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.

January 5, 2010 at 10:36 am
(14) TC says:

I really appreciate everyone’s comments. My husband and I are looking into the foster to adopt program. I am excited and anxious and nervous. To hear the good outcomes and to hear how patient I will need to be sets us up for success instead of disappointment.

February 4, 2010 at 5:27 am
(15) Dawn says:

My husband and I married late in life (age 30) and, after 7 years of trying, we were told that I was unable to have children. Neither of us could imagine our lives without children so we began looking into adoption. A “special needs” success story touched our heart and we immediately knew that we wanted to adopt a sibling group. We chose to go the “adoption only” route instead of “foster to adopt” as we were not sure we would be able to go through the heartbreak of losing children. Like many others on here, we had the vision of adopting young children and were told that would never happen. The reason is because children are often 8 years old or older before anyone sees or the children can really voice that there is a problem in the home.

So, instead of visualizing a young family, we prepared for ages 10-14. We went through no less than 30 inquiries in 3 years – some of these potential adoptions came very close but something would happen to stop the process. One time we were even willing to take a sibling group of 4 children but the system thought it best to separate them. Shameful, really.

We had all but lost hope when we received a phone call that there was a sibling group of 3 children who needed a home – ages 4, 3 and 13 months. We said “yes!” and immediately fell in love with these children. We began visitation with these three and along came baby. Bio mom had a 4th. We are now in the process of adopting all 4 children and could not be happier.

I completely related to “Whose Life is It?” when he/she says that “everything was perfectly placed for us to be who we are today”. Even what I have viewed as huge mistakes in the system have turned out to be part of what helped me find my children. I am almost 40 years old. Most of my friends began their families 20 years ago and there was a point in my life when I truly believed it was not going to happen for me. I now realize that these were my children all along and that this was what I was waiting for all of those years. And as I sit here holding them in my arms, I am ever aware that it was absolutely worth every minute of the wait.

August 13, 2010 at 11:06 am
(16) Darla says:

Today isnt a good day. Today I feel like it’s never going to happen. We came home from Ukraine in May with empty arms after working on the adoption over a year. Thousands of dollars later and no child. We have switched our homestudy to Russia. We are also a registered fsmily for foster to adopt. Ukraine was allowing us only one child(DUE TO EXPENSE) At least through the foster to adopt we are looking into siblings. We want a child 3 to 7 years old and still wait. Most days am very positive about it. Am sure when it works out, it will be all that it had to be to bring you along in this journey. I have an inquiry on a sibling group that I feel confident about some how? I feel something for these children. I pray for all of us that our dreams come true.

March 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm
(17) tammy says:

My husband and I have been trying to adopt for from the foster care system for 4 years now with no avail. We are wanting ages infant – 11 yrs. old. Is anyone else having a diificult time? Hope things look up soon would really like to add to our family.

April 14, 2011 at 6:51 pm
(18) cindy says:

My husband and I have been foster parents for one and half year. We are waiting for a fost to adopt, but the four kids we fostered have all returned to birth parents. We are with a cfoster family agency, but I wonder how long are we going to have to wait. We are not picky as we do want an older child boy or girl age 8-11 years old. I have heard there is a big need for adoptive parents for an older child. This does not seem to be the case with us. I wonder if we should change our agency since our agency is only foster and don’t specialize with adoptions. Does that make a differnce. Please we need some suggestionws from people.

August 18, 2013 at 5:31 pm
(19) randy l norrid says:

we are foster parents that took a baby right from the hospital when she was born.We have had her for 21 months.now she has been moved to another foster home.And now we are wanting to adopt her.is it possible

September 23, 2013 at 12:55 pm
(20) Harry says:

We have been waiting close to 2 1/2 years now to foster adopt with a age range of infant to 10. Starting to think it will never happen. I just don’t get it, waiting children, waiting families, when will the matches happen.

February 19, 2014 at 4:32 pm
(21) jen says:

We went through all the homestudy and adoption visits/inspections then on the final interview with my husband, the worker, which neither my husband or myself hit it off with, asked what age groups we could foster and he replied, we only want to adopt, which we knew we would be fostering first, so she ended the interview and said that she couldn’t approve us at this time, she didn’t think that we had been together long enough, at that point we had been a couple for 11 years and had been married for six. Just the day before, she let me look through their book of available children for adoption and printed several childrens profiles for me to take home to show my husband. We were so discouraged, my husband was crushed. So its been two years. Do we try again with a different agency? Or will we be denied because we were once already? We have great jobs, a beautiful home with plenty of room, our two children ( from previous marriages) are grown.

February 28, 2014 at 1:03 am
(22) adoption says:

I would try again – with a different agency. Based solely on what you said – I have no idea why the worker reacted in that manner. I know what it’s like to have a worker that you just can’t seem to click with. It’s tough. Good luck to you both!

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