I just got to watch this episode this morning. It seemed to break a lot of stereotypes about teen pregnancy. Many think that most placed infants are born to teen moms, but this is not true. Dr. Drew shared that there are 730,000 teen pregnancies each year in the U.S. (that statistic alone makes me sad.) Half of these end with a live birth, and only 1% of them are placed for adoption. I was shocked that the number was so low.
I was very impressed with Catelynn and Tyler, the only couple on the show to choose adoption. They each had to stand up to their parents and defend their decision to place, especially Tyler, who seemed to get a lot of grief from his parents for choosing adoption. Tyler stated that he got the strength and courage from his daughter and wanting her to have something better. It seemed like the two came from rough lives and wanted to break that cycle. This was another stereotype that was broken on the show, that of young men not caring. Tyler was obviously very moved by his love for his child and how the decision to place for adoption was not an easy one. He shared that he sleeps with his daughter's baby blanket over his pillow. The couple chose a semi-open adoption and were reunited with baby Carly and her adoptive parents on the show.
The couple spoke openly about how difficult the decision was for them, and how it was the hardest thing they've ever had to do, to hand Carly to her adoptive parents.
When Dr. Drew asked what message they had for other young teens thinking about parenting - Catelynn stated, "You can do it, but at what cost?" These two young people possess more maturity than what I've seen on some people twice their age.
Dr. Drew ended his time with the couple by stating, "I feel so passionately that people like you need to be honored, because it's so difficult." I had a difficult time deciding if I agreed with him. I personally hate it when people call me and my husband saints for adopting older children. I've had my mom moments when I was less than saintly. I can't imagine putting such pressure on this young couple - "We're now going to honor you for having unprotected sex at such a young age, and going through the grief and pain of making the difficult decision of adoption for your daughter."
I think doing what is right for you and your family shouldn't be saintly or honored. How about just supported? I know my husband and myself have appreciated supportive family and friends. I bet Catelynn and Tyler could use a lot of that at this time.
I also watched the Dr. Drew special, as well as the 16 and Pregnant episode where Catelynn and Tyler placed their daughter for adoption. The episode itself had me in tears most of the time. My husband and I adopted a baby girl through an open adoption and this was thr first time I had seen the birthparents side of the story so completely. It broke my heart that these two young children were faced with this decision, but I was so impressed with how mature they were and how they were thinking only of the best for their daughter. They made another couple so very happy and know that their daughter will have the childhood they never had the chance to experience. I agree with Dr. Drew in saying they should be honored for their difficult decision. Of course, they should not be honored for their decision to have sex at such a young age, but they should be honored for acting maturely and thinking of what’s best for the child. I know many adults who act far less mature than they do. My heart goes out to them – they are amazing kids.
I disagree teenage parents can be responsible and growup being wonderful parents, it is not always best to choose adoption. We had a child as teenagers she now attends a private school and we both have uni degrees. We too considered adoption but it would have been selfish, if you have family support it is a selfish decision NOT a selfless one.
I do not see the decision to provide a better life for your child a selfish one. Not all bithmothers have support, money, shelter, etc… To chose life for your unborn child knowing there is a loving family out there that can provide a safe loving environment is a selfless choice. I have a son because a young mother who could not provide for a child and did not have support chose life and adoption. She hurts every day but knows she made a good decision for her son. She wants him to have a good life, that is a selfless act. Everyone has their own situation to deal with and decisions to make. This decision is very individual and personal and I hope people don’t judge.
So tonight Dr. Drew said teen moms who get pregnant don’t ever get the chance to go back and to the things they want to do and they will never be able to achieve what they could have if they had not had a teenage pregnancy and choose to keep the baby…well let me just say I got pregnant at the age of 16, I kept my baby, and I am absolutely happy with what I have accomplished so far. Not to mention that in 15 months I will have my bachelors degree…so there’s your statistics right there Dr. Drew!