The Motherlode Blog Explores Adoption Termination

There is a powerful entry about adoption termination on Lisa Belkin's Motherlode blog.  It may be difficult for some to read, but I think it's an important essay.  It's heartfelt and honest.  I would never be so bold as to judge another family's parenting journey, especially those of us parenting children suffering from attachment disorders.  My husband and I know blank smiles very well.

This essay seemed familiar to me as I have a friend who, last year, terminated or dissolved the adoption of her daughter. She had parented the little girl since she entered their home as a foster child. After a couple of years trying to help the birth family reunify, my friend and her husband adopted the little girl and her older sister. It was apparent early on that their youngest child had attachment issues. Issues that she and her husband struggled to help her through.

The child tended to be violent and out of control at a very young age. The family sought special counseling for the child, and she was even admitted to a psychiatric hospital for observation after attacking a sleeping baby. After years of trying to get the child help, their marriage over, ending in divorce; the couple finally petitioned the court to dissolve the adoption. It had turned into a safety issue for the other children in the home and there were no other resources for the family, as they had tried everything to help the child. The judge terminated the adoption. It's very much like a divorce. Painful.

My friend called me and shared the wide range of emotions that swept over her. She stated she went from a feeling of relief, to extreme sadness, to feelings of failure, to a great sense of loss. The child, after being in their family for 7 years, showed no emotion. She blankly smiled and said good-bye.

After reading My Adopted Son by Anita Tedaldi, share your thoughts and feelings about this mother's powerful journey that she describes as a time when she learned about her own limitations.

I thank her for sharing her story.