Trampolines and the Culture of a Fostering Family
Thanks to a high school friend, I was given the opportunity to speak to her class this morning about the culture of foster care. It was a small group of college students in an entry level social work class about marriage and family.
We talked about family as a system and a bit about different cultural clues that we can observe in those around us. I then presented the concept that when a family decides to become a foster family, the family must blend their own culture, the foster child's culture, as well as the culture of the foster care system. The foster family takes on a completely new culture that is a diverse mixture of ideas and values that they have artfully combined - all while not giving up their core beliefs. It can be exhausting.
The class asked me a few questions about my experiences, but got off track a bit when they questioned a certain regulation. In our area, foster families are not allowed to have trampolines and foster children are not supposed to jump on trampolines. This seemed to completely trip the class out. "How can foster children expect to have normal childhood experiences if they can't jump on a trampoline."
Welcome to the foster care system. Oh, and I had a great time sharing with the class!
Perhaps the class would like to add this to the list of things they'd like to change about the foster care system?
Suggested Reading:
If I Could Change the Foster Care System I Would...
Great Foster Parents Understand the Importance of Culture and Lifebooks
Learning About the Culture of Foster Care - Foster Care Alumni of America's Community Art Project
This is so true about the foster care system being a culture that you blend in to your family’s culture. I have a 4 yr old bio son and we foster up to two kids at a time, less than 3 yrs old. We don’t allow any one to play in bedrooms whether we have a placement or not, simply because we are foster parents and we want to be able to see everyone. If we weren’t foster parents this would not be a rule in our house. Then of course there is the culture of visits, caseworkers (my son recently asked me if the current foster baby grew in the caseworker tummy’s), and of course children leaving. With a particular child my son was very close to, he stood at the window long after the caseworker drove off (to be reunified) asking me to get her back. It is for sure a different kind of family.
Lee Ann,
Thanks for sharing! I remember when my 4-year-old daughter asked when she would be joining her new family. I was startled, but then thought – well – we’ve been fostering since she was 2 months old….kids coming and going is all she has known. It seemed natural and normal. I was a bit sad when I told her she was staying with us – because – well, she seemed a bit bummed out by it!