I just received an email a few days ago from a reader who is asking for supportive resources:
"Carrie, I am going through a disrupted adoption. Do you offer support for adoptive parents? I have 8 adopted children and one is disrupting. Just some friendly support would be helpful. People sometimes act like it is my fault my daughter that is being disrupted has problems. She came with many problems I did not create. Our DYFS Division of Youth and Family Services is fighting me tooth and nail. My daughter needs help, and I could use some friends."
From Carrie: I have not personally experienced a disrupted adoption, however I do know what it's like to be at the end of your parenting rope. There comes a time when we do have to let our children go in order for them to find the help that is needed and to protect the other children in the home. My advice: 1. Seek out friends who are also foster or adoptive parents, sometimes friends outside the foster care and adoption community don't always fully understand. 2. Be kind to yourself, sometimes we moms can get really hard on ourselves. 3. Seek solace in whatever faith based practice that is fulfilling to you. Sometime we need to remind ourselves of the bigger picture.
Asking our foster and adoptive parenting community: Have you endured an adoption disruption? What helped you through the disruption process? What advice would you offer this mother and family as the children will need support too. Please share your kind thoughts, and advice in the comments area. PS. This isn't a space to post rants against these parents. All of these types of comments will be deleted.
- The Motherlode Blog Explores Adoption Termination - Another Adoption Disruption Story
- When a Child's Behavior Problem Threatens the Adoptive Family
- What Is a Safety Plan?
- How to Create a Safety Plan