Well, Oprah shared her big family secret yesterday on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and I learned that I have something in common with the big O, herself. I wish it was her star power or her bank account, but having a very similar adoption connection works for me.
Right before Thanksgiving 2010, Oprah learned that she had a little sister, Patricia, a half-sister to be exact as they share the same mother. Oprah told her studio audience yesterday as a way to own the story and make sure the facts of the story were shared and were shared in a way that the family felt comfortable and respected. The family did not want it to become another tabloid spectacle.
During the hour long episode we learned that Oprah was 9-years-old and living with her father in Nashville, TN and didn't know her mother was pregnant with Patricia. Oprah and her new sister, Patricia, spent a few minutes speaking with Vernita and I felt that this portion of the show was very enlightening. Patricia did reach out to Vernita, twice, and each time, Vernita denied an interest in an adoption reunion with the daughter she placed for adoption. But Patricia kept a very clear mind and I think gracious spirit about her as she shared, "I was very hurt, very. But I had to let it go." She further shared that upon meeting her birth family, that she felt great in knowing that she has nieces and nephews, and "now you [Oprah]." Patricia shared that she always felt that God would reveal to her the identity of her birth mother.
As many of the readers here on About Adoption & Foster Care know, I too discovered that I had a sister I never knew about until after the death of our mother. I could identify with Oprah and her feelings of shock as well as her need to process the news. As she ended the show yesterday she said, "There is lots of sorting out to do. It's a process. I'm still processing." I know for me, the news of an older sister, did shake me and I had to really think about who I was and where I fit in my family. I know that I am still the big sister. That's how I was raised and who I was raised to be. I remember telling my mother that I was not supposed to be the big sister. I needed someone else to lead and guide me. I'm sure those words hurt my mother. That was not my intention as I had no idea Pam was out there. But I do believe that I had to learn how to be the big sister and it has been a great opportunity in my life. I have not always been the best big sister in the world, but I have valued the experience. No matter how many times I told my parents to get rid of my two little sisters. My mother always said that one day we would be close friends. Darn it if she wasn't right.
What did you think about Oprah's big adoption reunion? Have you been through anything similar, if so how did you handle the big news?
Suggested Reading:
A Quick Overview of When Oprah Shared Her Big Secret
Before You Enter Into an Adoption Reunion - for the Adoptee
Before You Enter Into an Adoption Reunion - for Birth Parents
All About Starting an Adoption Search for Birth Family