Ever have those feelings when you just know something is missing, but you don't know what that something is? I've been feeling that way lately, I keep wandering around, rummaging through drawers, blankly staring at the TV. But I think I've finally figured out what was missing. We haven't heard anything about Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt adding to their family. Angelina Jolie hasn't added to her family through adoption since completing the adoption of little Pax from Vietnam in 2007. And she hasn't given birth since the twins joined the Jolie-Pitt crew in July 12, 2008. Well, guess what - she is adopting again! This time Angelina Jolie is looking to adopt a little girl from the Asian country of Syria and her partner, Brad Pitt's name is not on the adoption paperwork. Some are saying this means that Brad Pitt is against the adoption. I think some people have forgotten that Angelina adopted Pax singly as it went against Vietnam law for an unmarried couple to adopt a child. Pitt then adopted Pax once he got home. This could very well be the case with this latest adoption.

Congrats to the family! I'm looking forward to reading more about the new addition to the Jolie-Pitt family.

SOURCES:
Report: Jolie to adopt again
ANGELINA JOLIE - JOLIE TO ADOPT AGAIN - REPORT

The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) was developed with the idea of providing a means for families that have been separated due to divorce, adoption, or foster care to reunite. ISRR is a mutual consent adoption registry, meaning that for the registry to work, each adult (18 and over), has to have registered with ISRR in order for a match to be made. Many volunteers and visitors to the booths share their touching stories of adoption reunion or the pain of a fruitless adoption search.

RegDay or Adoption Registration Day is an annual one day event to increase public awareness of the International Soundex Reunion Registry. RegDay will be held on November 14, 2009 this year and is in need of more volunteers in established sites as well as for volunteers willing to coordinate new sites.

If you were involved with RegDay in the past, please leave a comment below and share your story!

One RegDay volunteer shares the following:

"One young woman(an adoptee) - late twenties I think - came in with her boyfriend - took the form to register and got some info about searching as well. She was quite soft-spoken and articulate. Said she had wonderful parents, did not have to know about her past, but, felt somehow it was part of her essence as to who she was. Said that she felt if she did not search, on her death bed, she would regret it.

Our event touches a few people very dramatically, but, we need to find ways to bring in more people - especially those birth moms still in their safe cocoons as I was until over 3 years ago. Many of them have children who are signing up, but, Soundex only works if both parties register. The fear of the unknown paralyzes many of us though - that's why those of us who are reunited work tirelessly to de-mystify search and reunion for people. We know what a difference reunion has made in our lives."

Yes, seven years ago today, my husband, myself, and our daughter finalized the foster care adoption of our 3 boys. We fostered them for two years before facing a judge in Wichita, KS to make it all official. It's funny that we finalized in November during National Adoption Month, but back then I didn't even realize it was National Adoption Month. Many families plan for it to occur in November just for that reason, but we just fell into it.

Parenting three teen boys with high emotional and behavioral needs was no picnic in the park. But we did learn a lot from our time together as a family and I believe we are all better people for the experience. Every trial they face is still yet another growing and learning opportunity for us.

We have never made our adoption anniversary a big deal - more of a, "hey, do you remember what today is?" type of thing. Some families go all out and it becomes another holiday. What is your adoption finalization day to you and your family?

How do you celebrate your adoption anniversaries? Is it a special day in your home, or does it just become like any other day?

Suggested Reading:
How To Complete a Foster Care Adoption

Thanks to a high school friend, I was given the opportunity to speak to her class this morning about the culture of foster care. It was a small group of college students in an entry level social work class about marriage and family.

We talked about family as a system and a bit about different cultural clues that we can observe in those around us. I then presented the concept that when a family decides to become a foster family, the family must blend their own culture, the foster child's culture, as well as the culture of the foster care system. The foster family takes on a completely new culture that is a diverse mixture of ideas and values that they have artfully combined - all while not giving up their core beliefs. It can be exhausting.

The class asked me a few questions about my experiences, but got off track a bit when they questioned a certain regulation. In our area, foster families are not allowed to have trampolines and foster children are not supposed to jump on trampolines. This seemed to completely trip the class out. "How can foster children expect to have normal childhood experiences if they can't jump on a trampoline."

Welcome to the foster care system. Oh, and I had a great time sharing with the class!

Perhaps the class would like to add this to the list of things they'd like to change about the foster care system?

Suggested Reading:
If I Could Change the Foster Care System I Would...
Great Foster Parents Understand the Importance of Culture and Lifebooks
Learning About the Culture of Foster Care - Foster Care Alumni of America's Community Art Project

Written by adoptive mother Patti Bongiorno, Tangled Hearts tells the story of a fictional adoption that reflects reality with Bongiorno's strong characterization and insight into the adoption triad.

Not only is Tangled Hearts perfect reading this month for National Adoption Month, but the Tangled Hearts necklace is a perfect gift this holiday season!

• Tangled Hearts - the book review
• Tangled Hearts - the necklace

Tangled Heart Pendant - Image used with permission from Bongiorno Books

I'll admit it, I'm a little bit sad this Halloween. I don't have a little one to get ready for a school Halloween party. I don't have a little one to help figure out a Halloween costume. To top it all off, my daughter is a big middle schooler now and thinks that this year just might be her last year to go trick-or-treating! And where will I get my free candy from next year?

So, all you parents out there, helping your children get ready to go to school all dressed up in their scariest or cutest this morning or for trick-or-treating Halloween night, enjoy. I'll probably be at home most of the evening - digging through my daughter's last Halloween haul, with tears in my eyes and a few Snickers and Reese's in my fists.

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Suggested Reading:
Preparing Foster Children and Newly Adopted Children for Halloween - Some children don't know basic trick-or-treating safety rules.
Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas for Late October Foster Care Placements

Most homes with children have a few used 3-ring binders laying around, left over from various school projects.  These binders are often in pretty good shape too. By utilizing one of these binders, a few tabbed dividers, and these free printable worksheets, a foster parent can get a jump on organization for pennies.

Find the step-by-step instructions on creating a binder for foster care records here.
Find the free printable worksheets to use in keeping foster care records and documentation here.

Follow the About.com Parenting & Family's Thrifty Thursday:

• Make a Free Candy Bag for Halloween
• Always Ask for a Discount
• Free Breastfeeding Resources
• Save Money By Combining Holiday Gifts
• Visit Your Library Online
• Recession Payback Game from ConAgra Foods
• Special Offers and Coupons from Fisher-Price and Playskool
• Fix-It-Yourself Manual
• Decorate with Neighbors!

Madonna is in the headlines again, this time traveling to Malawi for the groundbreaking at her charity's new school for girls - Raising Malawi Academy for Girls. All four of Madonna's children accompanied her on the trip, which included a visit to the orphanage that David lived in before his 2008 adoption. 4-year-old David and his siblings, Lourdes, Rocco and Mercy, even got to see the crib where he slept. What a great opportunity for the whole family. I hope this is a trip that Madonna will help David and her children document in their lifebooks.

Madonna adopted David and Mercy from Malawi among much controversy due to the minimum residency law that is required of foreigners wishing to adopt from the country.

This does give Madonna and family an awesome opportunity to really add something special to her children's lifebooks - especially if they paused to take a picture of David with his old crib. What are some of your favorite lifebook tips or ideas? Click here and share your ideas.

SOURCES
Madonna and son visit his Malawi orphanage - The Associated Press
Madonna visiting Malawi to launch school - CNN.com

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Suggested Reading:

• Best Ideas on How to Complete a Lifebook for Your Adopted or Foster Child
• What Not to Put into a Foster or Adopted Child's Lifebook
• Why You Should Make a Copy of Your Foster or Adotped Child's Lifebook

Vietnam adoption referrals issued before September 1, 2008, have almost been fully processed toward finalization. The cases still pending are being handled by adoption officials and the U.S. Embassy. According to the Office of Children's Issues of the United States Department of State, prospective adoption parents and adoption service providers should not attempt to receive adoption referrals or accept adoption referrals from Vietnam.

The Government of Vietnam is currently working on new adoption laws, but will take some time to implement new adoption procedures. Many hope that this is a good step toward Vietnam being a party to the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption.

What caused the issues that led to the agreement between countries not being renewwed?

"Vietnamese criminal investigations and U.S. field reviews revealed evidence of child buying, including forged or altered documents, cash payment to birth mothers (for other than reasonable payments for necessary activities), coercion or deceit to induce birth parent(s) to release children to an orphanage, and children being offered for intercountry adoption without the knowledge or consent of their birth parents."

It seems that both countries wish for a transparent child welfare system that puts the interests of children first. According to the press release, the Vietnamese Government has concluded one of several investigations of adoption officials and all 16 officials from one province were found guilty and sentenced.

I just spent the last two nights leading a fairly large group of parents through a Becoming a Love & Logic Parent course. If you're not familiar with this class developed by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, than you're missing the parenting boat, in my opinion. It's great curriculum and I really enjoy leading classes a couple of times a year for very selfish reasons - it's a great refresher for me. I just need to find a way to convince my husband that refreshers are a good thing. We do serve cookies during training. Maybe that's the hook?

The class tonight gave a wonderful opportunity to those needing to share some frustrating parenting dilemmas to gain a fresh perspective from other parents. We had about 30 parents in a room with experience ranging from toddlers to adult children - biological, foster, adopted, and kinship placements. As the group shared insights drawn from years in the trenches, it was great to see a bit of hope on some of the parent's faces, relief on others, and still a bit of validation on a few when the issue stumped us all. There is nothing wrong when we as parents discover that we are not crazy.

If I had to choose one of my favorite parenting techniques, it would be Love & Logic. I highly recommend it to all parents, but especially foster and adoptive parents. It just may save your sanity.

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Suggested Reading:

• What Parenting Skills Have You Found Helpful as a Foster or Adoptive Parent? - Share Resources and Ideas
• The Five Love Languages - Book Review
• The Post Adoption Blues - Book Review
• Top 6 Must Have Books for Parents: Developing a Discipline Style - About.com Parenting Teens