Until you establish a legally recognizable relationship with the child, no one, including mom, owes you any absolute duty except to give you notice of an adoption petition after you have made yourself legally entitled to receive that notice. Do not rely on mom. Mom may not be required to tell you her location or the status of her pregnancy. She may not even be required to give your name to the adoption petitioner or the court. For this reason, about half of the states have enacted putative father registries.
The registries let adoption petitioners find putative fathers without relying on mothers naming dad. The registries are searched by the mother's name. If you have listed mom's name with yours on the registration form, the search should reveal a match with your name, and the address needed for giving you notice. But because the registries are not searched under all circumstances, the assurance is not absolute. (See Section I. E) Even if a search finds you, a court will, absent a mutual agreement, require you prove paternity, usually by DNA testing. If your state lacks a putative father registry, the state may still have paternity acknowledgment and registration requirements that make the process function like a registry. Consult an adoption or family law attorney, preferably before the birth, about the consequences of signing a putative father registry and the procedures involved in acknowledging and establishing paternity. There are strict deadlines for signing putative father registries and for filing paternity acknowledgments.
C. How to establish paternityMany states let you fill out an acknowledgment form and file it with a court or appropriate department (e.g. vital statistics; human services). Hospitals often have the forms. Other possible locations are your local social or children's services agency, state vital statistics department, courthouses, or adoption agencies. But consult an attorney afterward, or even before, because you need to get all of the details. An attorney may be able to file a paternity suit or parentage action which may include a paternity acknowledgment. Your attorney may also be able to seek, if necessary, a restraining order demanding that mom not leave the geographical area and not give the child to someone else. If possible, start doing all this before the birth. If your state has a putative father registry, pursue paternity establishment and sign the registry.
D. Finding a state's putative father registryConsult the National Directory of Putative Father Registries. E-mail me if you cannot find it: edenstore@msn.com. You can register in your own state and in other states. Registration probably has no effect outside the state in which you register. And beware of any extra requirements. Some states require a registrant file a paternity action or intent to support/adopt the child within thirty days of registering. Consult a family law or adoption law attorney about this. You need not be present in the particular state to register. However, obtaining and returning the forms in person is faster. The forms may be available at locations other than the registry office itself. Contact the registry to find out. Do not waste too much time relying on the registry offices. And do not rely on them for legal advice. Rely on your lawyer instead. No federal registry existed as February 15, 2004.
E. What does signing the registry assure me of?Putative father registration provides only for notice of an intended adoption. Registration does not make you a fit father or entitled to custody. Also, many states do not require searching the registry if (1) the mother was married during the pregnancy (2) another man signed a paternity acknowledgment (3) the adoption petition was filed in another state, or (4) the child was deserted anonymously other search exceptions may exist. Thus, mothers can thwart putative father registration by getting other men to sign paternity acknowledgments, placing their children out of state, signing adoption papers under different names (e.g. maiden name), marrying, or anonymously dumping their children at hospitals. Still, you must register. If you also have your paternity acknowledgment filed, your lawyer may be able to get a court to restrain the mother from relinquishing the child to third parties or from taking the child out of state. You may need to register the acknowledgment in the other state for that state to recognize your registration. Paternity acknowledgments can usually be registered in other states. Consult an attorney about this.
