I watched my husband, who is a foster parent as well as an adoptive parent, interact with a child the other day. We had just met the little boy and he was to come spend the weekend with us for a pre-placement visit. My husband had squatted down and was talking to him, explaining how plans had changed and we might have to wait for another weekend. One of the workers leaned over to me and whispered, “Your husband is good.” I nodded in agreement. “He loves children,” I replied as I watched this little boy touch my husband’s hands as they spoke. I never realized how good he really is with kids, but it made me wonder; what makes him such a good father? What makes other men good foster parents or adoptive parents?
Is it in how they
- show the children that not all men speak with rough voices or with degrading language by speaking to them with respect and on their level?
show the children that not all men are too busy watching TV or getting drunk by taking the time to play? Whether wrestling, going to the playground, or out in the backyard, these foster and adoptive fathers take the time to interact with the children doing activities that they enjoy.
show the children that there are men that can be good role models of not only what a good father is, but of what a good husband or partner is by planning date nights and taking time with their spouses?
show the children that not all men are too busy for the little things by taking the time to run errands together or hanging out in the garage changing oil?
show the children that not all men are too busy working by planning family vacations and camp outs?
show the children that they care by giving up the comfort of a relaxing weekend to take in a frightened foster child?
show the children that by teaching them not only how to work with their hands, but to understand a job well done, they are teaching the value of a strong work ethic?
show the children a forever father's love by giving the children their name and a permanent home to those children who can't return home?
I think that what makes a good father is a bit of all of the above and much, much more. I just want to say that the communities that are served by foster and adoptive fathers are very lucky to have these men among them.
Thank you, for everything you do.
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