Watching my husband, who is a foster parent as well as an adoptive parent, interact with different children over the years has caused me to stop and wonder; what makes him a good father?
What makes any man a good foster or adoptive parent?
- Using respectful words and tone of voice, letting children know that not all men speak with rough voices or degrading language.
Taking time out to play. Sharing this time with children allows them to see that not all men are too busy watching TV or getting drunk to play. Whether wrestling, going to the playground, or out in the backyard, these foster and adoptive fathers take the time to interact with children doing activities that they enjoy.
Being a good husband or partner shows children that there are men that can demonstrate not only what a good father is, but what a good husband or partner is by planning date nights and taking time with their spouses.
Taking time for the little things like running errands together or hanging out in the garage changing oil, sends the message that they like having kids around. They also take time for the big things like family vacations and camp outs. These dads are into making family memories too.
Demonstrating generosity and a loving nature by giving up the comfort of a relaxing weekend to take in a frightened foster child.
Teaching children not only how to work with their hands, but to understand a job well done. By doing this fathers are teaching the value of a strong work ethic.
Sharing with the children a forever father's love by giving the children their name and a permanent home to those children who can't return to birth family.
Two additions to our list courtesy of a former foster dad and adoptive father, Nic.
Reading to the children in your home. If a dad will take time to read stories to kids, and do so in a way that makes the stories come alive, it opens a whole new world to those kids. When reading is easy and enjoyable, college educations become second nature, and a million new worlds are opened to you, worlds far richer and healthier and deeper than what you will find on television.
- Sticking to your principles and promises even when it hurts. Again, when kids see that Dad always values integrity far more than expediency or comfort, they will embrace integrity as well. (Eventually!)
I think that what makes a good father is a bit of all of the above and much, much more. I just want to say that the communities that are served by foster and adoptive fathers are very lucky to have these men among them.
Thank you, for everything you do and Happy Father's Day.