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The Reunion
The reunion's happiness was short lived.
The 'unconditional love' I expected is not there.
She is controlling and egotistical.
I can do nothing right in her eyes, I do not want to close the door, it was just opened.
She has devoured my self esteem to an all time low.
I don't know what to do, every time I call her, she says I am a downer to her.
She has lung cancer, thus the reason for our reunion.
I just answered my own question, life is all about her needs not mine, but that mutual need will never go away.
If my life is up or down, it is no concern of hers, just don't bring her down or she will slam the door again.
My dream came true but the queen is not the angel I had hoped for
She gave me up once, I have a scary feeling I will be given up again -
we are strangers and she cannot tolerate my individualism because it doesn't meet her standards.
I am tired of trying to figure this out...
I should just accept it and move forward,
with her and her opinion or with me, again alone.
I am very sad, tired and ill at heart.
By Adoptee Corinne Dewar