The About.com Adoption forum share thoughts on fathers and the importance of a father son relationship as well as a father daughter relationship. These are direct quotes from forum members regarding their birth, adoptive, and step fathers and the relationships they share with them.
"In Memory of my two Father's Guido(8/15/1986) & Joseph(11/8/1998)WW2 Veteran.
How lucky and blessed was I to have two Fathers one through adoption the other by birth." ~ Marycaroline Benso
"I think most men do not realize how important a part they are in children's lives, what an influence they have on shaping a lot of basic values and lessons for life. And what it does when they leave and do not invest any time in their child's(ren) lives." ~ quinnandellie
"My biological father - I've never met him, and from what I know, he doesn't know that I exsist. I do hope someday to meet him. There are so many questions I want to ask, and things I want to say. Mostly, I want to tell him that I don't harbor any anger towards him for how I came to exsist or where I ended up (being adopted). He wasn't really given any more choice than I was about my adoption. As far as my conception, well, we all do stupid things when we're young." ~ Theresaxxx
"What I have learned as an adult about my dad (adoptive) is that he's really done the best he can. He sees needs that he feels he must fill, and he focuses on them. He knew he was the one who had to care for his patients, and he knew that my mom was there to care for my brother and I. In his mind, we "didn't need" him as much as those patients did. We didn't need him as much as those extremely poor people in Haiti did (and do). He really doesn't understand that we DO need him just as much, but in different ways." ~ Theresaxxx
"My father, I have great memories of. I remember him singing songs to me while playing the ukelele ("Mares Eat Oats and Does Eat Oats" was my favorite). I used to walk to the end of the block to wait for him to come down the street; he would walk home from the train station and I would jump up into his arms. He took me to my first baseball game, it was at Wrigely Field against the Braves. I got to see Hank Aaron. We ceramic tiled the bathroom together. We used to put up with my mother trying to cheat at Rummy. We fought when I was a teenager and I left home at 16. I came back at 19 and became his friend after he retired. He will be dead 10 years this year. He died the morning I was on a plane home to see him. He never had a chance to meet his 2 grandsons. I couldn't have asked for a better father or a better life. I will always feel blessed that I am his daughter." ~ mmc51264
"My parents divorced when I was 12. Their's was not an amicable split, so physical contact with him basically ceased between him and his 5 children. My father was a career Naval officer (part of the reason my parents did not get along was the constant moving about) and he was stationed all over the world. My fondest memories of my father were his letters from those sometimes exotic places which only came sporadically but cherished nonetheless. During the time he was around he was not an overly affectionate guy and rarely said he loved us. How I relate to my own kids now is very much influenced by this - not a day goes by that I don't tell them how much I love them and how happy I am to have them in my life." ~ scoobyou
"I feel so horrible throughout the past 11 years not being able to find my daughter's birth father. Her birthmom to this day refuses to disclose this information to her yet sends her e-mails of poems that my daughter trashes and never reads. I FEEL she has the right to know. For a child to grow up knowing "someone had to be the sprem donor", Firsthand, I had to be a part of this since the day I adopted her. It's pure agony on her part and a missing peice of a puzzle I fear she will never have. She is now 22 and realizes IF she did find him, he may not want a thing to do with her. But that is not the point! She just wants to know." ~ SglemomHOST
"I lost my daddy (my adoptive father) 5 years ago today. It is still very hard to believe he's gone. He was just 62. My daddy had a wonderful childlike quality about him and was very impulsive. I see alot of him in my sister Chris so he lives on in a way that's not just memories." ~ Siri
"I remember mostly good things about my Dad - he was devoted to my mom and it was clear that he loved her dearly - when he died a few years ago - they had been married for 63 years. So, I consider his greatest gift to me that he taught me how to love someone - openly and respectfully. He was openly affectionate with my mom and us children and was a jovial, funny man." ~ Southernroots
"At age 34 I felt that underneath it all I was a survivor who wanted more than anything to be a successful writer and wanted no part of my dad's life. I had spent my whole life trying to be someone I wasn't, namely someone that knew how to live but I finally broke free of my dad's clutches by looking at my daughter and seeing me. It was then that I smiled inside as I made the connection from my head to my heart for the first time - there was never anything wrong with me but my dad inflicted his sickness upon me." ~ wordtrix1