The Challenges of Foster Care

Working with Behaviors - Children are in foster care for a variety of reasons including, physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, or parent's incarceration. Many times children will express their feelings through behaviors. Some behaviors can be mild such as tantrums, bed wetting, cussing, or lying. There are some behaviors that can be extreme such as masturbating, stealing, or running away. Many times foster parents can help a child work through behaviors; it just takes being in a stable, consistent home. However, there are times when behaviors hang on, sometimes for life, every child and case is different. These behaviors can be challenging to foster parents. There is free training available to foster/adoptive parents to help in parenting such behaviors.

• Why Children Tell Lies - And How to Stop Them
• 4 Tips to Raise Kids Who Won't Swear
• My Child Has a Problem - Aggression
• All About Grief & Loss in Children

Subjective Field with High Turn Over - There doesn't seem to be a clear cut guideline in the field of social services. Each social worker may see the same issue in several different ways. Meaning one social worker may see hope in a new drug treatment program for mom and dad while another social worker may not agree with the plan.

A field that is so challenging and stressful often leads to a high turn over, bringing new workers onto the case as old ones burn out from stress. In a two year period our first foster daughter had ten different social workers. Each one seemed to have a different idea on the family's situation and a new approach. This is probably why it took two years to bring about a final decision. This can be very challenging to foster parents.

• Working with Social Workers
• 11 Ways for Your Foster Care Agency to Maintain Foster Families - Really an open note to social workers and agencies, but may be enjoyable read for foster parents too.

Interacting with Birth Family - In many states foster parents are asked to work with birth family. This is challenging to foster parents for many different reasons. It can be difficult to watch a family fall apart and know that there is nothing that can be done to help. Other times the difficulty lies in working with angry, resentful people who are upset that their child is in another home. Helping those who don't feel they need help or who pretend that they are doing well, can add to the challenge. Foster parents are not left alone to make decisions for or against contact between foster families and birth families. This is in the hands of the social workers assigned to the case. Never make contact without checking it out with the social workers first and never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

• When Foster Parents First Meet Birth Family
• Foster Parents Often Foster the Whole Family

Slow Court System - An overworked court system with many delays can really add to the challenge of foster parenting. The judge on the case has the final word on which direction a case goes, termination or reunification with family. It can be difficult to work with a family and a child and feel constantly in a legal limbo by a continued case. Be sure to have your court reports in on time and thoroughly document how the child is doing in your home. Be careful in stating your opinion, but include facts on behaviors, grades, and how visitation and other interactions the child has are progressing or regressing.

Being Part of a Team - As a foster parent you are automatically a part of a team. Usually the team is made up of social workers, therapists, court officials, birth family, and others. It can be difficult working together, but when the team is not in agreement, it can be especially challenging. This is not an unique problem to foster parenting or to social services, it just seems to be an inherent problem to working with others. Be prepared to be an awesome team member by being prepared for meetings, and showing up with an open mind.

• Be Prepared to Participate and Work with a team of Social Workers and Other Professionals