Write Everything You Know About the Adoption
The first step in any attempt to find family separated by adoption is to take the time to really think about everything you know about the birth and adoption of the one you are seeking.
"People do not realize ow every little detail they know, no matter how insignificant it seems, may be the clue that breaks the case." ~ Diane, About.com Adoption Search Angel
Apply for Your Non-identifying Information
According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, all States enlist a process that allows those attempting an adoption search to access non-identifying information. Some states even allow birth parents the opportunity to access non-identifying information on the child they placed.
It is very important to those attempting to find family members that they access this information. It may seem a small thing to know the occupation of a birth parent at the time an adoptee was placed for adoption, but this small detail may be the lead needed to bring about an adoption reunion.
Register with Your State Registry
The Child Welfare Information Gateway states that many States utilize a mutual consent registry. This means that both the adoptee and the birth family must register whether or not they are interested in an adoption reunion. Learn more about your State's adoption registry.
Register with The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR)
The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) was developed with the idea of providing a means for families that have been separated due to divorce, adoption, or foster care to reunite. ISRR is a mutual consent adoption search registry, meaning that for the registry to work, each adult (18 and over), has to have registered with ISRR in order for a match to be made.
Register with Adoption.com
According to the Web site, "The world's largest adoption reunion registry with 386,514 Adoption Records." It's recommended by many of our adoption search angels.
Check All Registries Monthly
Impatience in searching seems to get to many trying to find family.
"One of the most common issues I've seen is that searchers will search a registry once and then never again. I've had two successful searches just by re-searching a registry that they hadn't searched in a few years. So, I would strongly urge searchers to check registries on a regular basis, and if they find a possible contact to try the contact information a number of times over the next year." ~ Richard Levine, About.com Adoption Search Angel
Seek Support Groups for Those Trying to Find Family Separated by Adoption
It's important to know that you are not alone, find others who understand your need to find birth family.
"I always invite people to share with me why they're searching and anything they want to share. Adoption, though not uncommon, can feel lonely and make us feel separated from those around us. Having someone to connect and share with while we're in the middle of searching is a big deal." ~ Tyler, About.com Adoption Search Angel
Contact an About.com Adoption Search Angel
If you feel lost in the adoption search process, or don't know where to start, know that we have adoption search angel volunteers. They are willing and ready to assist you in an adoption search. There are a few rules that you will need to be aware of that will make your working with a volunteer more effective and the volunteer better able to help you find your family.
Explore Your Expectations for an Adoption Reunion
Whether you're an adoptee searching, or a birth parent starting an adoption search for a placed child - most have expectations for what the adoption search will reveal or include. Adoptive parents of a searching adoptee often struggle with mixed feelings when adoptees seek to find family members separated by adoption. This is all a normal part of the process. By being realistic in expectations, will bring about a better experience for all involved.
Don't Give Up Hope
It seems like a daunting task, attempting to find family members that were lost years ago, especially when some State's have closed adoption records. But, it is possible, a positive outlook is a key ingredient.
"Some adoptees who request an adoption search reunion have not resolved their own feelings about finding their biological families. A really positive outlook is an essential ingredient." ~ Shannon, About.com Adoption Search Angel
