For moms, adoptions are 'tough, emotional choices.' But the law requires dads to be immune to emotions. One excuse for the attitude is that mom cannot be expected to know what to do if she does not know that dad is fully committed. Who cares that dad is insecure because mom is not fully committed. Instead, any indecision, confusion, doubt, anger, or other mixed emotion dad exhibits, however natural, marks him as unstable and insincere, hence one more step toward unfit, and more justification for why mom left him in the first place.
F. What if another man is my child's presumed father?Many states make presumed fatherhood rebuttable, meaning the putative father can defeat the presumption through evidence--usually DNA. In some states, however, only the presumed father or the mother can rebut the presumption. Also, if you are a putative father, and a presumed father exists, the putative father registry may not be searched. Still, you will probably be required to sign the registry to avoid termination of your parental rights. This is why you must try to become a presumed father. Consult an adoption or family law attorney.
G. I fear that if I communicate with mom she will increase her efforts to thwart me.The fear is real. But don't expect anyone to understand it fully. The best action to take depends on your specific situation. If you fear mom will go to some unknown location if you send support money or express interest in the child, you may want to file the paternity acknowledgment and pursue a restraining order against mom first. However, because state laws regarding deadlines vary, consult an adoption or family law attorney about how to proceed.
H. Read the original article in it's entirety, including an interesting summary.