Read about the blogger.Look for the blogger's profile or "About Me" link. This will tell you where the blogger is coming from and where he/she is within the adoption triad.
Look for organizational tools to find the blogger's adoption story.Many adoption blogs offer categories that run along the side of his/her blog. This organizes the posts into different categories. The blogger may separate out "adoption", "parenting", or even "rants." Not every blog offers such tools.
Know the lingo.
Whether you agree or not with the adoption terminology means little when you venture off to read someone's adoption blog. You need to know who the blogger is referring to. Here are a few you'll see:PAP - Prospective Adoptive Parent
Nmother - Natural Mother
Amother - Adoptive Mother
BM - Birth Mother
AP - Adoptive Parent
BP - Birth Parent
Other bloggers have a listing of cast of characters to help you follow along, as usually names are changed.
Know that you may be reading views that are different than your own.Some adoption bloggers are not fond of adoption or the adoption process. This can be shocking to some adoptive or pre-adoptive parents. In my opinion, it's important to read these different blogs and learn these different views. Reading how difficult a birth mom is taking placing her infant is beneficial to the other sides of the adoption triad.
Be aware that some bloggers use strong language.
We all have our different styles, tastes, and standards. We also express emotion in a variety of ways. When reading many adoption blogs you may encounter the use of strong language, especially when the blogger is traveling down the often frustrating road of adoption reunion or grief and loss. Move to a different post or find a different adoption blog to read if this is too much for you.
- No Example: It's not really needed anyway right?
Some posts are password protected.Some adoption bloggers are utilizing the right to password protect some postings that are more personal. This is due to the level of privacy of the post, or the blogger just doesn't want to deal with a rude comment from someone who does not agree with another adoption point of view.
Read the comments and consider leaving your own.Let the blogger know your thoughts or opinions by leaving a comment. Take the time to read the comment of others. Lots of comfort and understanding can be found. But remember -
- Rudeness and ugliness does not help get a point across.
- If you wouldn't say it to someone's face, don't leave it in an adoption blog comment. If you would say it to someone's face, think again.
- If you have not parented that person's child, or lived through a difficult adoption placement, it's hard to truly understand. (College degrees mean little compared to life experience.)
- You may be deleted or banned if you continue to be difficult.