The bonding parent and child activities listed below are not for every foster or adoptive parent or every foster or adopted teen. Only do what bonding activity is comfortable for you and your teen foster or adopted son. These parent and child activities include ideas for physical touch. Appropriate and safe physical touch is very important for healthy growth and development.
When trying to decide what parent and child activities to do, keep in mind:
- Teen's Age - Chronological and Emotional
- Teen's History of Abuse and/or Neglect
- Comfort Levels - of not only the teen but of the foster or adoptive parent
- Safe Boundaries - some ideas below may not be appropriate for foster or adoptive mothers, depends on the teen's history of abuse and comfort
Please note that I'm not promoting these activities as a way to create an instant bond between you and your teen son. Bonding is a process that takes time. These activities are ideas that may help start the process of bonding.
Side Hugs - Easy way to incorporate a hug in an appropriate way.
High Fives - Non-threatening way to include physical touch and tell a child, "great job!"
Fist Bump - Like the "high-five" this may be more "now" and the teen may find it funny that you're such a dork to even try it.
Sit Near The Child - Watch a favorite TV show or read a book aloud.
Take a Walk - A great time to talk about life and find out what's going on in each others world.
Cook a Meal - Spending time in the kitchen with a kid does more than just feed a belly, it also feeds the spirit and mind. Learn more about working with children in the kitchen.
Tying Fishing Lures - Includes non-threatening physical touch as the teen boy learns a new skill that may also be a great way to alleviate some stress and include a bit of creativity in the process.
Teach How to Drive - Depending on a the teen's age, this is another way to spend quality time with a teen. What an exciting time in a teen boy's life.
Shaving Lesson - A rite of passage in many teen boy's life as he learns how to shave. This may include a bit of physical touch too.
Work on a Car - Yet another tradition, working on a car with a positive role model. The teen is getting the opportunity to spend quality time and maybe some healthy, non-threatening physical touch as he learns how to properly use tools and maintain a vehicle.
Teach How to Use Tools and Equipment - Does your teen know how to use a hammer correctly or a power drill? Working out in the yard or on home projects, the teen boy is not only learning a work ethic, but a skill that may lead to a future career. Physical touch may also come into play as the teen is instructed on how to properly handle various tools.
Teach How to Play Golf, Baseball, or Billiards - Choose any sport that your foster or adopted teen is interested in learning. This is a great way to spend time in an active activity that may include a bit of physical touch as you teach how to hold a golf club or catch a baseball.
