Dads are busy guys and busy guys sometimes have it rough trying to make time for kids. Sometimes they forget that they are needed in their foster or adopted children's lives. Stay involved and know that your kids need you. Show your children that you care by making time for your kids. The parenting doesn't stop once you sign the paperwork to adopt or foster, it is just beginning!
Communication
Whether it's in-person, by e-mail, hand written notes, or phone calls; communication is very important in the parent child relationship. Children won't forget special cards or notes tucked into lunch boxes. My husband strengthened his relationship with our youngest son with daily e-mails. It's about communicating - in any form.
You Are Needed
Take part in the day-to-day care of your children. Be involved with bedtimes; make it a point to be a part of one sit down meal, be that breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It's about being a part of the daily routine.
Going Back to School
Show up at school for reading time or lunch. Meet your child's friends and teacher. My husband has two Friday's off a month. One is always set aside to volunteer at our daughter's school. If your schedule doesn't allow for this, try talking to your child about school; ask about homework or their friends. Maybe you can help with math? It's about being involved.
Role Model
Whether you are a hard worker, honest, loving husband, or involved in the community; your children are watching. What do you want them to remember about you? It's about being an example.
Know Three
Remember three things about your child; the name of one of their friends, a favorite food, sport, school teacher, or favorite books or TV show. Keep your chosen three up to date as kids tend to change so quickly. Talk to your child about their favorite things. Your child will know that you really are interested. It's about knowing.
Activities
Camping trips, family soccer games, or silly songs; these are the things kids most remember. Try adding a bed time story to your child's night time ritual. It's about time.
Traditions
Our family used to go fishing on Father's Day. I looked forward to the camping, marshmallows, and catching frogs. Dad spent a lot of time getting our fishing line out of trees and baiting more hooks than he could keep up with. It's about special days together.
Three Little Words
Whether spoken or written - "I love you" means so much. Find a comfortable way for you to let your children know that you do love them. It's about love.
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For direct input from adult adoptees and birth children, read what our forum members have to say about their fathers - Fathers - An Important Connection for Children
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