- Learn about foster care by reading books or items on the Internet. Consider attending foster care training.
- Write down all of your biggest concerns and/or fears and address these with your adult child who is considering becoming a foster parent.
- Allow your child to parent and disciple the foster child even when you don’t agree with how it is done. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand a new parenting method, but foster parents are trained. The methods may seem odd, but each child’s needs are different. Specialized parenting is sometimes needed to address the past issues the abused and neglected child faces.
- Don’t ask a lot of question about the child’s past or birth family. This is a confidentiality issue and puts your child in the awkward position of telling you “it’s none of your business.”
- Keep a connection with your own birth grandchildren by spending individual time with them. Many kids whose families do foster care feel lost in the foster care shuffle. Don’t allow this to happen to your grandchildren.
- If asked to baby-sit the foster child, parent and disciple the foster child as instructed by the foster parents.
- Don’t “buy” the foster child’s love by purchasing a ton of gifts. Many foster children have not had a “real” grandparent experience. Take this opportunity to fill a child’s emotional and self-esteem needs with the gift of your time.
- Treat all of the children the same with the same rules. Many families try to “make-up for past hurts” by feeling sorry for foster children and not holding the children accountable for their actions.
- Ask your family if there are issues you need to be aware of such as stealing or if the foster child has certain fears. The foster parents should be able to share some information with you without breaking confidentiality. This is to keep you safe and the child comfortable. Don't be afraid to ask and then spend time with the child in a way that makes you both feel secure.
