Building a connection with your foster or adopted child can take a lifetime, but it's worth the effort. What I have learned in several trainings taught by experts in the study of attachment, that if a child can connect to one person, than that child can grow and have a connection with other important people in his or her life. Here are some ways to build a connection with your child.
Physical Touch - It's important to understand how physical touch helps children of all ages. A hug can make a difference to an older child.
It's a Guy Thing - A driving lesson can go a long way in helping a young man learn to trust you as a new parent. What other interests does your foster or adopted son have that you can help him learn? And don't forget that pat on the back for a job well done, or for at least not backing into the garage door.
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Lots of girls enjoy getting their nails painted by their mom or learning new hair styles. Not a "girly girl?" Try a driving lesson or teach her a new craft. There is a lot parents can do with girls that can help build a connection. My tween daughter has recently discovered fishing.
The Language of Love - Author, Gary Chapman's Love Languages have been very popular in helping marriages stay strong. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages of Children teaches parents how to use the idea of love languages in forming a better and stronger connection with children. What's your child's love language?
Short on Time? - Any spare minute can turn into 60 seconds of connection time. How about five minutes? If you have five minutes you can brush your child's hair, read a story, or thumb wrestle. What may seem small to you, may mean a lot to your child.
Remember - Daily tasks done with consistency builds trust. Trust leads to a connection with your child.