Whatever happened to families sticking together, working out their problems and being there for each other? That is how some members of the adoption triad feel about placing children in adoptive homes. I've read many grandparents and adoptees on our forum ask, "What's wrong with having a teen, single, or a poor parent? Especially when there are parents, grandparents, siblings, or other members of the birth family available to help support the mother or father." Many feel that being in one's own biological family is so important for a sense of well-being that being in a potential rough situation is worth it. Some adoptees have found themselves in less-than desirable adoptive homes and have been left wondering, "Would my own birth familys situation have been any worse?"
Many birth mothers place their children in an adoptive family hoping that her offspring will have that sought after "American Dream" - the perfect life. Most of us will admit that this is not reality. So, what are good reasons to place a child for adoption? What is a scared, expectant mother to do?
- Be smart
- Be prepared
- Be decisive
Know that YOU as the Mother and/or Father are in control of the future of YOUR child until the final papers are signed.
The following is a very active poll that has been running on this site for several months. While not scientific or perfect, it does give an interesting glimpse into some of the reasons mothers have chosen to place their children for adoption.
Why Did You Place Your Child for Adoption?
- Forced. I didn't have a choice between my parents, social workers, and/or agency.
- Finances. I was in a bad financial situation. I didn't think I could afford to feed the both of us.
- Single. I didn't think I could handle parenting alone.
Know this, adoption is about loss, not only a loss for you and your child, but your entire family.What are the reasons for and against choosing adoption?