1. Parenting

Readers Respond: I Wish My Foster Care Social Worker Knew...

Responses: 5


While we want to be honest and respectful in how we speak to our foster care social workers, sometimes we may feel that it is best to just keep quiet. Maybe we stay quiet because we're afraid that we won't be understood, or that we can't say what we want to say without emotion. But today is a different day, today we can take a moment and share what's in our heart.

Whether you are a foster parent, a foster child, a birth parent, or perhaps even another worker - what do you wish you could tell your foster care social worker? How would you finish this sentence, "I Wish My Foster Care Social Worker Knew..."

Legal Issues

Our first foster child moved in 2 days before school started. We had no school records, no medical or dental records, and never did get any. Later, was told I couldn't have access to those unless birth parent signed a permission form. Please, give us the information we need as soon as you can get it. Turns out my foster child had undiagnosed learning disability, but it took a year to evaluate and find out. If I had been allowed to see previous school records and test scores, I could have helped more. Knowledge is power.
—Guest m

that the money given is mis-used.

I'm 15, pregnant and in foster care. I'm always at my boyfriends house because my foster parents are seemingly incapable of purchasing healthy food and things that I need. I need iron pills, and I didn't get them because they were deemed "too expensive" even though the ministry would've reimbursed her. I was wearing one bra, the only bra I owned, that was 2 letter sizes too small for a year and when I asked for a new one she gave me 20$. You can't find a DDD bra for that price. Her husband was missing money from his wallet so she automatically came and yelled at me for stealing it because I happened to be standing at the counter making a lunch for school, then she went as far as to take money from me to compensate for his missing money. Although they claim I'm "part if the family" they go on family vacations and have left me at home for the past 4 years, and they treat me so unfairly.
—Guest Preggo

...how they hurt.

The case workers should have told us something. Gave us a family and to find out two of the children play with themselves and when we tell case worker they say, "tell me something I don't already know." They knew it and didn't tell us and I have a child of my own. The one child misbehaves so bad that it's messing up my own family. When asked to have child removed they say they have no where to place them. They found me and my family. I feel that if a child has been removed four times from bio parents they should not be able to get them back any more. Give the kids a chance to be kids with out hurting them.
—Guest kids

how they hurt children.

I was a child in foster care in Massachusetts. They constantly shift kids around, half the time without the proper paperwork or medication for the children. They refuse to adopt out unless it's last resort and no matter the circumstances (abusive parent in my case) their primary goal is to re-unite the original birth family. Both my parent and I stated we didn't want each other, but they still insisted on trying to re-unite us instead of finding a stable home.
—Guest Cissa

the importance of honesty.

In my 20 years, I have had 20 children placed in my home. The major information that I needed was not always available, which made it a challenge to help my children. I wish Social workers had been totally honest and up front about the children they had placed in my care. For 20 years, I have had to re-educate myself with the many issues that have arisen. Total honesty would have made our relationships more successful.

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