change alot
- I would employ more social workers! People don't realize that often times, caseworkers/socialwkrs have about 10 more cases than they're suppose to! I would also make it less of a hassle to adopt children; i was in a foster family, and was suppose to be adopted in 6 months, but some how it took over a year. I would also put less limitations on the children themselves : when i was in the system, i couldn't do hardly any thing! I couldn't go anywhere with new friends, I had to stay where the parents could see me or reach me at ALL times, i couldn't spend the night at a friends, and EVERY person i wanted to go somewhere with had to have a background check.i would also eliminate separating siblings based on race. [such as children who are half brothers/sisters].I would also give more benefits to the case workers. The foster care system is ok right now, but it would be great if they could make these improvements.
- —Guest been_there
less rights for bio's
- oh where to start! they give bioparents way too many chances. i currently have a 4 month old from birth. she was born drug addicted and premature. i was told this was a foster to adopt situation because of bio's history(this is # 4 for biomom, she doesn't have any of them)yet before i even left the hospital they had a visitation schedule planned out. biomom rarely shows up and is still using and now wants to go to rehab! i'm so scared she'll get this baby back, oh and biodad is in jail and requesting jail visits. are you XXXX kidding me !!!!!! and they wonder why there's a lack of foster parents? i think they should pay for my therapy! the whole system needs an overhaul, just too much to put in one paragraph. i just pray this beautiful baby, who is healthy and thriving stays with us for her sake, and our fearless leaders really start taking a look at foster care reform
- —jennjenn71
More Support for Foster Parents
- i am the daughter of a foster carer she has fostered for many years and as every child leaves our lives we all hurt because of getting so close. I think there should be more awareness and support provided for foster parents who have taken on a child at any age and have had them for years and had to let go due to adoption.A recent example - My mom had a little boy from birth to 3 years old and she is heart broken after he left our family for adoption not long ago. She is suffering dearly and is having panic attacks and is very down! This is like having your own child taken away from you, she's constantly thinking if he's missing us crying for us etc. its heart wrenching to think about we loved him like our own and he loved us back just as much! Shes barely had support except from our family and i think more support should be given to these kind people that make a difference in the lives of these children my mom and everyone doing this job are truly angels for the work they do. :) x
- —Guest Shadine
Change the system!
- We are fostering a beautiful 3 month old who we have had since birth. Her parents have both lost previous children due to drugs and this baby was born drug exposed and premature. She is medically fragile and still, the parents have all the rights in the world! This little one is so bonded to our family, even at her young age. These parents get to be parents to her for 3 hours a week and we are her parents for the other 165 hours. It seems like our concerns about the visits and the parents are not listened to. Mom admitted that she just "happened to find drugs in her house" recently and this was not brought to the SW attention. What is it going to take to change the way the system cares for these kids? More abuse? More death? I really fear that they will give her back and the statistics do not look favorable if they do! Thanks for letting me vent! God bless each one of you who are caring for these little ones!
- —Guest Kim
I am sick of the system
- I have been a foster parent for only 3 yrs. and after the siblings I currently have (hopefully) go home or get adopted by us-we will be DONE. I am so sick of people thinking foster parents shouldn't get more money for fostering- why is it that the most crucial job in the development of a young mostly shattered child, widely thought should be done for free.But daycare providers are reimbursed by the state at an even higher rate. Raising these kids are HARD -a state facility is reimbursed usually 5X more a day financially. Whatever... I am not in it to be rich- I just think- isn't all the extras that we do better then $15 a day. If I adopt these kids I will then be responsible for $25 a day for day care. People who say foster parents are getting too much money- aren't foster parents. Step up to the plate or shut up.
- —Guest heather
What happens when Social Workers lie.
- Recently, a family member was fostering the children of another family member who had her children taken from her. The social workers made promises to the foster parents and broke every one. During a meeting with these social workers, things got heated because the foster parents got tired of all the lies and broken promises. This is about the well-being of the children and they took issue with them being placed back with the birth parents (something promised in the beginning would never happen.) The children were taken from the foster parents and they were told that they could NEVER see (by rule). These are family members and they can never see their family members again? Had the social workers not continued to lie throughout this, things would have been different! The foster parents were told they would never be allowed to foster again because they lost their temper with the social workers. These kids were loved and cared for...and now no other children will either???
- —Guest Anonymous
Make Sure Financial Needs Are Met
- I have had my foster child for 4 months now, and still haven't received anything to help but him the things he needs, clothes/books etc. As a parent I can't just say, oh well there's no money, you can't grow/eat/read, I buy him the things he needs. And now the rest of the family is suffering for it, I cant pay bills, since I am doing the things DFCS should be. I wait 3 weeks sometimes for a call back from caseworkers about important things like aggression ,needs, therapy. They just don't seem to care. I also have to agree with auntwhocares as well, reunification and visitation with a mentally unwell parent who has a 20+ yr history of abuse, and refuses to seek treatment shouldn't be an option.
- —Guest indebtoverlazydfcs
Foster Parent and Adoptive Parent
- First of all, some of the ignorance and all the blaming on this site appalls me. You know what? If you are not happy with the current system, join it! Jump in and do your part to make it better. Provide a GOOD, STABLE, QUALIFIED, LOVING, foster home yourself and advocate for the child. And, as Nikki stated, work together, sometimes a child should return home, so mentor that parent and provide support.
- —Guest Amber
Parent's Rights?
- I would consider the child's needs and rights over the parental rights. My daughter almost died at the hands of her mom and yet they took her to visits in the prison! The victim was forced to go to monthly visits with the victimizer. Happy to say the social worker we worked with did care about my daughter but the system provided for more rights to the mom.
- —Guest inct
Kinship Care Is Key
- ENCOURAGE KINSHIP AND SUPPORT THE TRAINING AND THERAPEUTIC NECESSITIES THAT ARE NEEDED.
- —Guest MZ KTS
Foster Care System Reform Needed
- Before I adopted a 16 yr old, who was in the system from age 5, he was with me as a foster child. He went into the system with a sister 3 yrs younger than him. They were close but she was adopted ahead of him. The social worker asked him to "Sign Off" so his sister could be adopted. She told him the two of them would never get adopted together. For his sister's sake, he said yes. He knew from being in the system that boys in their teens don't get adopted. He knew they were about to be separated and he would be put into an all boys home anyway. At least that was what the social workers and foster parents told him. The stories he told me, while in the system disturbed me so much. Is there one cure - NO - But I do know that the foster care and ADOPTION methods seem to differ greatly in the states. The social workers are overwhelmed with work, the court system lets the parents get away with holding the children back from getting a "forever family". Reform needs to be addressed.
- —Guest Phyllis
Hold Parents Accountable
- I stepped up because the system failed and missed abuse that should have been reported by multiple required reporting parties. The system does not work. Too many problems and not enough people - whether it's state workers, schools, foster homes. If parents were really held accountable for what they do to their children, maybe more parents would think twice. Instead, the system keeps sending them back.....insistent that 'the parents' are the best place for them! If you have to remove a child from a home ONCE, that should tell someone something!
- —auntwhocares
Foster to Adopt Adult Adoptee
- First of all im an adult adoptee in Oklahoma City, there needs to be more of an investigation of the Foster Parents because when i was finally adopted at age 5,my father beat me with his fists,dog straps,boards,kicked me,threw hammers,foster mom grabbed me by my hair & shook me while slapping my face.Is this how you treat a foster child!
- —Guest Brian Willson
Need for More Social Workers
- I would hire more workers---Workers are overloaded with too many cases. And it's all non-stop.
- —Guest abbiek
permanancy
- Stop moving these kids and do what it takes to get them into a permanent home, ASAP. I agree, they need to be with their parents or family if possible. But really, how long does an adult need to get their act together when the custody of their child is at stake. Hold parents accountable for their actions. It amazes me that a child can go into care as an infant, and still be in the system 16 years later. The best interest of the child should be considered first and foremost. Not the best interest of the parents.
- —Guest krisvo
