Kids will fight. It's just a part of growing up. There also may be rivalry between siblings. That also seems to be a part of life. However, it seems that sibling rivalry is a bit trickier to handle when the fighting is among foster siblings or between an adopted child and an adoptive parent's birth child.
How do you handle sibling rivalry and fighting kids in your foster or adopted home? Share any words of wisdom or tips here with other adoptive and foster parents.
No to Good Touch Bad Touch
- Having worked in child welfare for almost 30 years, I strongly disagree with the "Good Touch/Bad Touch" program. We have to remember that even the "bad touches" sometimes feel good and to label them as "bad" can confuse a young child. I prefer the "Red Flag/Green Flag" approach. This program does not label the experiences of sexually abused children as "good vs. bad". It simply helps the children understand that the "red flag touches" are inappropriate. And thus, does not stigmatize them by labeling their experience. Child molesters are very good at trying to make the child feel physically "good" and they are experts at it. So for us to label these experiences as good or bad can have significant ramifications for our children. I worked with a little girl who had been extensively abused by her father and when we used the "good touch/bad touch" she was further traumatized because in her young mind the abuse "felt good" and she became extremely confused.
- —Guest Gregory Doan