Readers Respond: How Have You Created a Connection with Your Foster or Adopted Child?

Creating a connection with your foster or adopted child is part of parenting. Sometimes, it just doesn't happen naturally and we may need some ideas from other foster parents or adoptive parents. When it comes to older children, a connection can take a bit more work.

While, most teens are not known for their cuddly ways, having a connection with them is important. So, foster and adoptive parents, share your tips and tricks on how you have successfully created a connection with your foster or adopted teenager.

Great

We are fostering 2 and 3 yr. old toddlers. We make food the kids can make themselves or decorate like mini pizzas and cupcakes. We also got face paint and let the kids paint us. That was a hilarious hit but best done in the summer where you can hose off afterward! We got the funniest pictures for their 'Life Books'. We also had a camping trip in the backyard. We grilled hotdogs and made smores and slept in a tent! Boys loved it.

—Guest Jennifer Cain

Cooking

My two adopted children and 2 bio children rotate turns helping me plan, shop and cook a meal. They are ages 6-9. This activity is great to help the children bond with each other as well as give them time to bond with me, their mom. It is a great self esteem boost when the whole family thanks them and says how good it is. Last year they started just by making boxed dessert but now they love it so much we are making dinner, bread, rolls etc and dessert! It helps if you find a recipe from a cooking show and record it. My son with ADD enjoys watching the TV host cook it and then recreate it for the family. It is also a great life skill!

—Guest Abby04

Sharing Interests

I started and maintained a connection with my teen by learning about the things he was interested in and doing them with him. He loved computer games, so I played the same ones he did. We had lots of discussions about the games, which often led to discussions about life.

—Guest Carol