Thursday December 3, 2009
I just received an email a few days ago from a reader who is asking for supportive resources:
"Carrie, I am going through a disrupted adoption. Do you offer support for adoptive parents? I have 8 adopted children and one is disrupting. Just some friendly support would be helpful. People sometimes act like it is my fault my daughter that is being disrupted has problems. She came with many problems I did not create. Our DYFS Division of Youth and Family Services is fighting me tooth and nail. My daughter needs help, and I could use some friends."
From Carrie: I have not personally experienced a disrupted adoption, however I do know what it's like to be at the end of your parenting rope. There comes a time when we do have to let our children go in order for them to find the help that is needed and to protect the other children in the home. My advice: 1. Seek out friends who are also foster or adoptive parents, sometimes friends outside the foster care and adoption community don't always fully understand. 2. Be kind to yourself, sometimes we moms can get really hard on ourselves. 3. Seek solace in whatever faith based practice that is fulfilling to you. Sometime we need to remind ourselves of the bigger picture.
Asking our foster and adoptive parenting community: Have you endured an adoption disruption? What helped you through the disruption process? What advice would you offer this mother and family as the children will need support too. Please share your kind thoughts, and advice in the comments area. PS. This isn't a space to post rants against these parents. All of these types of comments will be deleted.
Suggested Reading:
Become a Facebook Fan | Follow Me on Twitter
Tuesday December 1, 2009
Because today is World AIDS Day and these facts shouldn't be.
"Children under 15 account for one in six AIDS-related deaths worldwide and one in seven new HIV infections - the vast majority through mother-to-child transmission, which can occur in the womb, during birth or through breastfeeding. Ninety percent of the more than 5 million children who have been infected were born in Africa.
Some 15 million children under age 18 have lost one or both parents to AIDS and countless children become responsible for the care of their siblings and other family members when parents are debilitated by poor health.""
~ From UNAIDS Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS
Suggested Reading:
World AIDS Day 2009
HIV Around the World - South Africa
HIV Around the World - China
HIV Around the World - The Russian Federation
Monday November 30, 2009
The Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) posted an announcement that the Guatemalan National Adoption Council is working towards the opening of a new adoption pilot program. Currently they are accepting letters of intent from Central Authorities, and will be accepting only four. A "central authority" is the hub of adoption information and processes for that country as well as the main contact. The JCICS is encouraging the State Department to submit a letter of intent, but there is no way in telling which countries Guatemala will be interested in working with and whether or not the US will be one of those lucky four countries. We do not know at this time when this planned two-year pilot program will begin, but will be watching to see how it develops.
Adoptions from Guatemala were suspended January 1, 2008, due to concern with the country's adoption process and corruption including, unregulated foster care, conflicts of interest, and lack of government oversight.
SOURCE:
Joint Council on International Children's Services
Saturday November 28, 2009
A new story in The Sun seems to be getting a lot of attention, a report of a very upsetting adoption reunion find - Charles Manson. 12 years ago, adoptee Matthew Roberts, 41, decided to search out his birth family. Placed for adoption at birth, he felt he needed to fill in some pieces of his life that only an adoption reunion with his birth family could do. Through the help of an agency, Roberts was able to locate his birth mother, Terry and establish a letter writing relationship with her. This seemed to help Roberts a lot, but he still wanted more information. For a long while, Terry refused to tell him about his birth father. Finally, she told Roberts the truth. Terry claims she was raped by Charles Manson during a "drug-fueled orgy" and that Manson is his birth father.
Looking at pictures on The Sun's Web site, it's not hard to believe. Roberts has written Manson in the prison where he will live out the rest of his days and receives creepy letters back, signed with a swastika. Manson also has confirmed his relationship with Robert's birth mother. According to the article, Roberts is having a difficult time processing this information. I can only imagine. Roberts describes himself as a peace loving person, while we know that Charles Manson, a mass murderer, is anything but peaceful. Roberts shared with The Sun that he is a poet and songwriter like his birth father, and now is concerned about inheriting schizophrenia. Which is another argument for open adoption records - medical information is so important. Roberts told The Sun in an interview,
""He's my biological father - I can't help but have some kind of emotional connection. That's the hardest thing of all - feeling love for a monster who raped my mother. "I don't want to love him, but I don't want to hate him either."
What a tough place for this adoptee to be in. How have you handled an adoption search and reunion that has not gone so well? Should there have been more preparation for Roberts or is there just no way to prepare someone for such news?
SOURCE:
I traced my dad... and discovered he is Charles Manson - The Sun
