From Carrie Craft,
Your Guide to Adoption / Foster Care.
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A wonderful adoption book for any and every adoptive family. I took my time reading this one as there is a lot of information to digest. I could identify with many of the book's statements. I found myself feeling relieved to know that I am not alone. Authors, Karen J. Foli, Ph.D. and John Thompson, M.D. lead you through this adoption book with many case examples of adoptive families and statements from professionals.

Case Examples

Throughout each chapter are several case examples which have been written by adoptive parents. Through these case examples we are allowed to see into another family's experience with adoption, whether that be international, through the foster care system, or kinship. Wonderful parenting advice, ideas, and fears are shared in these little blurbs. The case studies provide a reality to the book. I didn't feel "preached to" by a professional who couldn't possibly understand every facet and path of adoption.

Thoughts from an Expert

Another offering is that of sections called, "Thoughts from an Expert." These are also peppered throughout each chapter with professionals from all sides of the adoption fence weighing in on each subject that is addressed. I found these equally helpful to me as an adoptive parent.

Chapter Organization

Each chapter addresses possible expectations an adoptive parent may have of the adoption process, child, birth family, others, or themselves. Each expectation is then discussed and common reactions are explained as well as coping strategies.

Overview

The three main sections of the book are about expectations. First, is the expectations you have of yourself as a parent, then the expectations you have of your child, and finally the expectations you have of others.

The adoption process builds high expectations for all involved. Birth parents are told how wonderful of a gift they will be giving to a family - and perhaps not prepared for the immense grief of placing a child. Adoptive parents are told how wonderful adoptive parenting can be and how when the child enters their lives every joy of parenting will be fulfilled. Then the child arrives and there may be health concerns, behavioral problems, and/or relationship trouble with unhappy relatives. The high expectations are unmet and depression can set in.

From The Post-Adoption Blues

"By more realistically anticipating what you believe your future experiences will be, you will be better able to manage your emotions and build more successful relationships."

Resources

At the end of the book is a chapter devoted to fathers with the same chapter organization of expectations and strategies. Case examples and expert comments are also employed in this section. The rest of the chapters provide information for parental support and how to find the help you may need. A glossary, selected readings, and other resources are also provided.

About the Authors

Karen J. Foli, Ph.D. is a registered nurse, medical writer, and author. Her husband and co-author John R. Thompson, M.D., is a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in child and adolescent issues. The couple are adoptive parents and reside in Bloomington, Indiana.

More Information

(Published by: Rodale Inc., 2004.
ISBN 1-57954-866-0)